Shattered Silence

My silence I will shatter
This I do avow
You did not hear my silent screams
But you will hear me now
And how will I get this epiphany across
When I am still lost for words
I've decided I will not shelter you
From the pain that I've endured
I will be heard
If I need to shout it in a canyon
Or whisper it in the dark
You will feel the flames I've felt
And you will see the spark
I will not shut up
I will not bottle it all up inside
For one more night
I will not to your rules abide
Let's take a ride
Through my mental suicide
With no one to confide in
Waves of despair I was ridin'
And hidin'
In the shame amidst the rain
But I will not allow it to swallow me again
I will scream it out despite depression
I will avoid at all costs regression
I will be heard.
Like the birds that dive between the trees
I will overcome I will be free
But in the meantime you will acknowledge me
In this moment
In this sublimity called my life
I will subject you to
What you'll know to be my strife
I will be heard
And you can shield your ears
But I will write encyclopedias
On how all this has separated us
And I will screech like a banshee
How your words are not enough
Not sufficient in excess
"Get over it, give it a rest"
With little comfort held to my breast
In breath I whispered
Things you'd never hear
And masked with a dismal face
Every desert tear
Two years of silence
Two years of shame
Two years of being told that I'm to blame
For all the darkness
That is everywhere
In the depths of my darkness
And the forests of despair
But I am a survivor
Despite the pain I've swallowed
And you are still oblivious
To the space that you've hollowed
When you should have listened
You were far away
And I was forced into solitude
Again day after day
"Annie are you ok"
For once I will speak the facts
I'm not alright, I'm not just fine
And it will never go away
Not even in time
In rhyme I preach
Hoping that in time you'll reach
Out to me and just hear
The things I've learned to fear
And maybe I'm just tired
Of pretending to be something you all desire
Staying in places I don't belong
Singing songs in an effort to be strong
While I try hard to extinguish
The person he shaped
It would be nice if you'd acknowledge
It will never be ok.
I will be heard
Even when I'm lost for words.