Smudged
When will this tearing go away?It's always visible on my face.
Eyes black and smudged everyday.
Awaking with that salty taste.
What can I do?
Do I run away?
Do I end this life?
How can I stay?
I've tried to get better
and clean myself up.
Then I fall again
and wish he would help me up.
I'm smothered with fear.
If I cut, or slice myself
he still won't care.
He will only find someone else.
If I cry, or if I say anything
he will only give me lies,
false security.
Then he will recreate the smudges around my eyes.
He is the artist who decorates my moods.
He makes me want to tear out my heart.
Then makes me happy with simple I Love Yous.
Even with this pain, I still don't want to split apart.
I feel darker than ever
living in a deep hole.
No one can hear my frustrated cries
as they echoe through my heart and soul.
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