about him

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    Well this is based on this cute guy I like but I know he doesnt like me that way. We are just friends

    about him

    What was it about him that I liked?
    Was it his smile?
    His laugh?
    Or the way he looked at me?

    I didnt know which one it was
    But one thing that was for certain
    Was that I liked him
    No matter what

    Bowling started and I saw him again
    But something changed
    something major
    So being myself i went up and asked

    It was the wrong thing to do
    Especially what I said
    "You are still single right?"
    He just laughed and said "No I am taken"

    It broke my heart inside
    I should have asked him sooner
    Maybe if I did
    I wouldnt be in ruins

     

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    JAlden commented on about him

    10-14-2009

    :( I liked this poem. Poetic, and understandable. Just the way poetry should be. You have a unique gift, my only advice to you is that you expand your treasury of words. You know how to use words well, but I sense that you need more of them. A good artist can paint with just black and white, but the very best will try to use all the glowing colors of the rainbow to paint a landscape beyond description. But, as a poet, you CAN describe it, and, more than that, make your readers FEEL it. I really like this poem, I've read a couple of your others and I think you possess the quintessential poetic gift of word sense. Again, I think you just need to color it a little. But thank you for posting, and keep writing! This is the kind of modern poetry I like: the stuff that you can understand.
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    jandh4ever’s Poems (19)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    memories 0 10/13/2009
    missing you 0 09/07/2009
    thank you 0 08/02/2009
    Im sorry 0 08/01/2009
    Emma Lynn 0 07/08/2009
    Who Cares? 2 07/07/2009
    shattered glass 0 07/08/2009
    hurt 1 06/14/2009
    why 1 06/12/2009
    My friend and I 0 06/10/2009
    sixteen 0 06/10/2009
    Spring Haiku 0 06/10/2009
    winter haiku 0 06/10/2009
    Champs 0 06/10/2009
    Who Am I 1 06/10/2009
    The mockingbird 0 06/10/2009
    Graduation 0 06/10/2009
    about him 1 06/21/2009
    change 1 06/10/2009
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