Cold steel pressed
Against my flesh
Once by another
Then redirect
Now I'm the one
Who commits this crime
Against myself
Again in time
Cool pressure on the temple
Remotely soothing
Like a cold bathroom floor
When you feel sick
Comforting you with relief
But this cold is colder
Targeted and direct
Eyes closed
Thoughts flash before me
Weighing the options
Slowly move the barrel
Beneath my chin
Not as comforting
Not at all
Then it goes further
And finds its way
Between my teeth
A horrible sensation
The feel of gun-metal
In your mouth
And a shock is sent through me
WHAT AM I DOING?!!
WHAT SUCH THING HAS CONSUMED ME
AND LED ME TO THIS PLACE??
Where I then awaken
Jolted back into some form of sense
Some rationality
Remove the barrel
From my jaw
Release my finger
From the trigger
Feel shaken to the bone
And all alone
Hurled back through
Time and space
To another place
Then back to the present
In less than a second
These flashes drive me
To the brink of sanity
Where I teeter and sway
And fall over the edge
Then come back to my senses
To find a gun to my head
These are the things that
I don't tell you,
And you wouldn't want me to
I'll come around,
I'm trying...