Love In My Past

A planted seed, in my life, indeed, has brought me so much pain.

I’ve ruined lives and been despised by hearts that I have slain.

The few of you, I’ve been true to, should feel so very blessed.

There’s many more, I’ve had before, who may be unimpressed.

Not that I’ve been, the worst of men, at times I have been on guard.

When with them all, I’d build up walls, tearing them down was hard.

Complete distrust, this was a must, for surely, she connived.

And if she would, do something good, I’d be pleasantly surprised.

But if she’d cheat, you know what’s sweet and simply so divine?

I knew in my heart, right from the start, she’d do it all the time!

Left all alone, to fend for my own, and take care of my brother.

A hotel room, my love entombed, by actions of my mother.

For in that room, my boyhood tomb, my love was truly spurned.

She left for work, and I was forever hurt, because she never did return.

I guess in her plans, I was a man, well; enough to handle hell.

For I was rough, and tough enough, at the ripe old age of twelve.

Could not believe, of sweet reprieve, given by another.

When treated wrong, so very long, by my very own mother.

Treated as such, by one I loved so much, how could I ever care?

At a young age, the path was paved, by pain beyond compare.

So if in the past, I’ve been an ass, I didn’t mean it so.

In love, emotionally, I could not be and would not dare to go.

When in the sack, Shiiiitt! I was The Mack, I’d put my stroke down smooth.

If, love, Stella lacks and she wanted it back, I could not help her find her groove.

I could take her hand, to orgasmland and ride on every ride.

But if it’s love, she’s thinking of, she’d surely be denied.

That’s in the past, I’m free at last and Love is my middle name.

Those lessons taught, true love was wrought, and formed in pain’s own flame.

I’ve learned from some, of how love’s done, and how she should be treated.

The pain I’ve caused, and love I’ve lost, can never be repeated.

If you know me, and are one of the “She”, and you never stood a chance.

Then just know that I, could not reply, when you spoke about romance.

I could not live, long enough to give, the love that I have been given.

I owe you all, for answering love’s call, while I was in love’s prison.

I apologize, for when I told you lies, to keep my heart from pain.

But my pain was pure, my heart insecure, and I had woman to blame!

So now I stand, a loving man, who knows love’s painful cost.

And I tell all men, with a knowing grin, if you haven’t loved then you’ve truly lost!