The Cold Shoulder

4 Comments

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  • Erratic

    Poem Commentary

    The way she sees life comes from separate perspectives. She can stray from socialism but can create a place which satisfies all of her wonders. From her standing point, her best interest is not to rely on persuasion.

    The Cold Shoulder

    Doctor,

    This is not a check up, nor am I seeking maintenance
    I hope you're not rubbed off on by your ongoing patients

    Given no advantage to speak when I had everything on my mind,
    allowed me to lose sight of this feeling that's built up in time
    Although I will explain my traits to my best ability,
    and try not to sound like I even know me

    Over this pillar, there is a labyrinth
    If you follow the runaway clouds, you will be held captive
    Cross enemy lines, distinct by shade,
    and clean up your mess to end this crusade

    I fidget in my stance, and I've seen castles molt into craters
    Now that waiting has broke down into courage, I am the narrator
    In my world, flowers sing and the skies are laminated in chrome
    Publicity is unnecessary; I am already known

    I've turned to you as a last resort,
    after sweating out this drought to avoid falling short
    Surrounded by your presence in this office could fool me again
    Claustrophobia nudges at my tongue, and my patience is wearing thin

    I can feel the tension in my neck already coming on
    This ringing in my ear is a sound that doesn't belong
    Of course, I anticipated a lecture with no personal form of hope
    Perhaps silence would have been a more gradual approach

    The correction you made came from matter over mind
    The impression you've made is not one of a kind

    I'm falling back into my element
    Figuring by now your recommendations are irrelevant

    Poem Comments

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    SuSpence commented on The Cold Shoulder

    06-08-2009

    'In my world, flowers sing and the skies are laminated in chrome' Great imagery, I want to visit this world of yours. A very powerful piece, I loved it very much, just so you know it was highly recommended to me by BDIsernhagen, and he nor you disappointed. I will continue to read more of your brilliant work.

    jademelissa74 commented on The Cold Shoulder

    06-07-2009

    Incredible piece of work. The message that you managed to portray though your descriptive words is very powerful. The reader can actually relate to this piece, one way or another. I enjoyed reading this poem Meagan!

    Paolo commented on The Cold Shoulder

    06-06-2009

    How would it be if I said, "Tell me about your doctors office visit ?". Then you gave me this. I would stand on my toes to hear your voice, to lean into your words, I want to hear, I want to know about the claustrophobia nudging at your tongue. When I think of what good poetry is I hope it takes me out of me, when I think of great poetry, I think of poetry like this. In every line you intrigue the reader, the voice of the poem keeps us hanging on for more because of lines like "Claustrophobia nudges at my tongue". I want to read this poem, I want to absorb this poem, I want to write like this poem.

    BDIsernhagen commented on The Cold Shoulder

    06-06-2009

    It seems so clear at times, but when I try and put down something, its gone, probably molting into craters... (great line btw) This poem is excellent! There is a certain modernn abstract darkness married to reverent meter, and the child ofcourse is Genius, or atleast my infatuation. Bravo indeed!

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    meaganofficial’s Poems (11)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Behind the Void 2
    The Cold Shoulder 4
    Vitality 5
    A New Age Dawns 2
    From the Bottom of my Heart 2
    As I See Myself, I Am 1
    Castrated 4
    Stowed Away 1
    Intruder for a Tale 4
    Exposing My Flaws 3
    A Fin for One Side 2