VALLEY OF DEATH

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  • Philosophy

    VALLEY OF DEATH

     

    What happens…?

    when the rat nibbles the bait in bites

    gnawing away in bits, heart in mouth

    stealing glances this way and that

    pausing randomly in time with pounding heartbeat.

    A daring move prods a strong bite and a mouthful…

     

    The lever shifts!

    The spring moves!

    The rat stiffens!

    Waiting for the inevitable blow…

    but the rod holds still.

     

    A fresh confidence moves two tiny paws

    up onto the lever.

    The rat leans forward, reaching out

    to grasp firmly the sweet death meal.

     

    The lever shifts!

    The spring moves!

    The rat stiffens!

    Waiting for the inevitable blow…

    but the rod holds still.

     

    What happens…?

    When the snake slithers and stops to stalk its prey

    taking care for no noise to make

    lest the rat a swift flight make.

    With eyes sharp for long in use,

    distance measured, momentum gauged.

    A whet appetite makes two forked tongues

    flick from lips pursed as if to expectorate.

    The ugly head remains static as tubular prostrate body

    coils, uncoils and coils soundlessly.

    The body, now a spring, static

    the head inches up, jaws parallel to ground

    to get a better look. Still,

    the rat nibbles at the bait in bites

    gnawing away in bits

    unaware of its double peril.

     

    What happens…?

    When with a last crunch and a little yank from

    the weightless paws…

    the bait is free from the lever,

    the rat a trifle unbalanced from the tussle.

     

    The lever shifts!

    The spring moves!

    The rat stiffens!

    Waiting for the inevitable blow…

    but the rod holds still.

     

    The rat swallows the last bite

    steals glances this way and that

    and turns to go…

    The snake is poised, the head rears back

    flicking forked tongues go in and out,

    mouth opening exposes fangs.

    HISS!!!

    The rat stiffens!

    The smell of death is heavy.

    The rat makes to go…

    The trap is jostled!

    The snake recoils and strikes!

     

    The lever shifts!

    The spring moves!

    The rat LEAPS!

    Not waiting for the final blow…

     

    The rod gives away its taut load from long pressure.

    In a kaleidoscopic petrified horror the rat watches

    the snake in flight with furrows on its brow

    darting in to make the kill…

    The spring is in motion, vibrating with pent up potential

    closing in for the kill…

    In petrified horror the rat watches

    the two killers close in…

    the lever on one side, the snake on the other

    and as if on cue, arrive same spot on time

    merging into one pulpy mess

    of metal, flesh, bone and blood.

    The predator recoils on instinct too late

    the prey is flung clear of the trap.

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    cousinsoren commented on VALLEY OF DEATH

    05-28-2010

    the two killers close in… the lever on one side, the snake on the other and as if on cue, arrive same spot on time merging into one pulpy mess of metal, flesh, bone and blood. The predator recoils on instinct too late the prey is flung clear of the trap.' What a terrific movie script , every line powerfully crafted and laden wirh suspense! For over-all poetic and dramaic perfection and critique satisfaction, (I find no fault in this poem) my rating is 10x10) I am, however, getting to dislike rating as an unsatisfactory factor of poetry appreciation

    vincenzo

    06/01/2010

    Thanx Coz... I am actually a movie director/producer/script writer, so i guess it flows... I agree with you about rating not being a good way of a appreciating poerty, but we ain't got a choice, do we? I love your poems and the fact that you have won the contest makes me wish to be like you.... Vin

    mountainlady commented on VALLEY OF DEATH

    05-27-2010

    wow u had me with every word.... keep up the great work..... ML

    vincenzo

    05/28/2010

    many thanks ML....

    MootPoint commented on VALLEY OF DEATH

    05-27-2010

    I thought the snake was going to get snapped by the trap. Very good. Keep writing!

    vincenzo

    05/27/2010

    yeah, it was actually snapped by the trap: ....the predator recoils on instinct too late the prey is flung clear of the trap.... thanks for the comment...

    wheelsal commented on VALLEY OF DEATH

    07-05-2009

    This is a story that is riveting. You are a wonderful poet. Sally.....................................

    CongoNetherland commented on VALLEY OF DEATH

    07-01-2009

    AWESOME! LOL! THIS IS THE BEST POEM I HAVE READ HERE! And I hate it when people write in all caps. This site sucks mostly because stupid, boring poems are uploaded. Yours is neither This should have won a lot of accolades - but typically- it got no notice. Yet. Give it time, my friend. Very well done. We'll make it get its due.

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

    vincenzo’s Poems (12)

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    MY FOE 3
    SAINT S 3
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    VALLEY OF DEATH 6
    WHO KNOWS TOMORROW 1
    RENDEZVOUS (for My Uncommon Love) 3