everywhere i turn darkness is all around me
i see the light but it just out of reach
its warmth upon my face
pales to the cold i feel on my back
the chill that runs through
fractures my heart
frostbite kills my spirit
and deadly icicles pierce my soul
i fight to resist the numb
the darkness is so cold

i descend deeper into the abyss
the light blurs in the distance
as i spin away
i stumble and trip
falling
i crawl through my own pain
i have drowned in my own tears a thousand times
consumed by this sorrow
and swallowed up this misery
i am off balance
shifted left of center
i have lost who i use to be
who i am suppose to be
but i am trying
because i do not want this to define me

a helpless feeling of hopelessness overwhelms me
as my eyes go black
blindness sets in and i am oblivious to the world
i have lost sight... lost faith in myself
i fall weak
crumbling at my own feet
withdrawn
my life becomes a casualty
gunned down by unfriendly fire

this is the choice that i have made
to search through the darkness for answers
the rip through my own soul
searching
to follow a path into the dark
and unveil the answers it might hold
to finally set me free from myself
emotional self abuse
mental razorblades slice me to shreds
i bleed
i have martyred myself for myself
sacrificed my sanity in order to find peace
i will turn the darkness inside out...
until i have found what i need
because i have not found it yet
but my search continues...