a lil secret

Born da fifth day of may
1982 was da yr of da day
Two loving parents were present
To enjoy their gift god had sent
Over da years
N thru da tears
Alcohol caused her father's physical abuse
His apologetic lines left her mother confused
That life needed change
Fears n feelings needed to rearrange
Seven years old, one day her father left out da door
To return no more
Not so much as a phone call
No visits, no cards, nothing at all
Mother working two jobs, never around
An older brother so mean, pushed her to da ground
At a young age she was already alone
Raising herself, on her own
Brother n sis confronted mom
Hitting her with a bomb
Quit a job, spend sometime with us
Brother n sis, cried n gave a fuss
Mom shook her head
Couldn't believe what her kids had said
Eight years old, transferring schools n feeling sad
At da world she grew mad
Mom had a new man in her life
Soon to be his wife
A lil perfect family once again
As a teenager, a lil secret held her, broke her within
The truth her mother couldn't see
Just saying it couldn't be
Locking herself away
Getting out, her eye on dat day
Not facing da pain
Racing thru her vain
At eighteen she left a note
Freedom at last she quote
Her momma at four a.m. drove thru town
N hunted her down
Forced her back to doom
Devasted once again, she locked herself in her room
A week later, persuaded a parent
She needed a co-signer for an apartment
That lil secret haunted her at home, she couldn't stay
Funny da one to put her thru hell, is da one who signed dat day
Just the start of her hell
N gave her a piece of her shell
A shell she hides behind
Trusting da wrong kind
Hopes n dreams, she let a man come between
Eloping at nineteen
Getting ready for a baby
A child herself, she wasn't ready