Exposed

As I compose
My life I'll expose
A broken childhood dream
Never made any team
Father was a washout
Building was my doubt
Father beat Mom til blood and pain
Fear and tears flooded like rain
Mom got tough
She had enough
My Mom did her best
But in many ways failed her test
She wasn't, still isn't really there
With a mother's loving care
A brother, who thinks he's king shit
Fought me, gave hit after hit
He disowned me once
Don't see how we share blood by any ounce
Despite it all, in school honors achieved
Academic awards received
Graduation, freedom set in
A tumbling downward spin
Met a boy at eighteen
Married at nineteen
First baby girl that same year
2004 a baby boy cried his first tear
Husband who wouldn't step up in any way
Began wondering why I stay
Robbers kicked in the door
Fear started to soar
A hatchet to mine n daughter's neck
Thinking OMG, what the heck
They walked with my stuff
Wake up call, I had enough
Six years of manipulation
His countless, endless deception
Moved out and on
Found anew someone
At the bar, I couldn't believe him
Hitting on them tramps, I left him with them
He chased me down the street
I could hear his feet
Finally home, placed a call
Phone ripped out the wall
Cell outta minutes, 911 was free
It seemed just like TV
By this time, a knife to my throat feeling the blade
Cops bust in and raid
He threw the knife down against his will
Threatening me, he said he was gonna kill
He ended up a jail bird
At the Dr's office, you're pregnant I heard
Finally court granted space and freedom
I felt so dumb
Was back at home living
Started reliving
Baby girl born 2006
Learnt a few tricks
Finally back on my feet
A place of my own, lil and sweet
Caught up with a boy again
Thinking, I finally did win
And then the control and abuse took over
Bruises had to have makeup to cover
Lies were told
My life began to severely unfold
Fearing all he would, could do
I got a restraining order to make him go
Now going through divorce a second time
Waiting for freedom bells to chime
I decided to wait
I didn't need to date
But met a sweet talker and fell
He stole from my money well
Disappeared without a trace
I'll never forget his face
And I swore, never again to give my heart
Tired of it being shattered apart
I know I'm so ever strong
Because of all the wrong
Learning from endless mistake
Just trying to catch a break
Now an unemployed mother of three
Struggling endless as can be
In a rut stuck
In need of some good luck
Top it all, this past week found out I'm anaemic
And also pre diabetic
Heading for type 2 diabetes
Leaving me praying on my knees
And shaking my head
Wondering why somedays I even get outta bed
A true write composed
That's me, myself, and I exposed