Losing You I Lost Myself

12 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional
    • ,
  • Lost Love
    • ,
  • Sadness
    • ,
  • Loss

    Losing You I Lost Myself

     Losing you I lost myself
    Like staring in a mirror and noones there
    Like walking through a sea of broken glass and only feeling the pain in my heart
    I walk in the brightest days and yet my whole world is dark as night
    I hold a map to find my way but no matter where I go it's still nowhere without you
    Before you and I fell apart
    I knew who I was and what I wanted
    And where I was going in my heart
    But losing you I lost myself

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    SerenityWintirs commented on Losing You I Lost Myself

    09-14-2011

    I think that the the lines could flow a little smoother if you cut lines 3, 4, and 5 in half. I think that if you do that the piece will not lose any emotional impact but will be a little easier to follow. This is a very relatable subject for just about anybody but maybe try something new for you that will really make it stand out from other poems. Increase the imagery. Maybe sit and think about some different things (in nature, or even everyday ojects) that come to mind when you reflect on your emotions reading the piece. And then try to find some way to make those relate to your subject. Everyone has a different style of writing and that may not be your thing but I think that if you try experimenting with a few new things you will really find your voice and a style that works for you, and that will also increase the emotional impact of the piece
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    Dancer022597 commented on Losing You I Lost Myself

    04-07-2010

    It's tough to feel like someone completes u then they dump u on ur a** and its even tougher to get back up. Good work!
    Reply to Comment

    Solaris

    04/07/2010

    thanks i was kinda hopeing youd read my newes two but thanks for the comment honestly i dont get why ppl like my cheesy poetry

    Artie commented on Losing You I Lost Myself

    11-16-2009

    When we find someone who fills the missing pieces within ourselves, it feels as thought a part of us dies if they leave - 10 from me
    Reply to Comment

    nonners commented on Losing You I Lost Myself

    11-16-2009

    aww i love your style-short n sweet. there is bliss in simplicity.
    Reply to Comment

    sammia commented on Losing You I Lost Myself

    08-18-2009

    Solaris I agree with everything ginga and the rest of the poets that have commented below me. They have said everything that I want to say. It is full of pain over a broken heart. We have all been here before. There is so much meaning to this in so little words. Keep writing and sharing
    Reply to Comment

    A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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