Something From One Thing

1 Comments

Something From One Thing

Age 23/Tuesday, August 17th, 2010/12:53a.m.

I don't know. I'm happy. I'm sad. I'm confused. I feel loved and also neglected. I want to stop all the wrong/bad things I do but I'm scared of the good. Scared that it might hurt me worse than before. Maybe it'll be too good and I will manipulate myself like I always do.
I want to be a mother to My Daughter. I don't want drama. But it seems to follow me around. Too much negativity. If I could deal my own cards, all I get are numbers. When God deals them, He faces me and says I am Worthy. You don't have to do this. Just cast all your cares on me.

I feel ashamed of the things I'm still doing and more ahamed because I'm not doing what I should be doing. I'm on the right track, but it seems, for me,everything good comes to an end. I want to fully trust and love and have faith, completely to My God. And then I finally do,
and take my life back into my own hands. And mess-up. To be or not to be. That is the question.

I feel like a piece of paper instead of being steardy as a pencil.
Yes life is life and I have to learn to deal with it. But God says louder, Give your problems to me and I will take care of them. And yet, again, what do I do?..I take them back.
Just stop. Please. Your hurting me. Us. Your killing my soul.
You want what you want and I want what I want.
I feel like I'm basically telling God and my Lord Jesus to screw-off cause I have not followed His commandments

I accept Him and fall.  Accept and Fail. Accept and fall.

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Ceasar commented on Something From One Thing

12-08-2010

Wow-now you are inspiring me-inspiring me to heed the call of God. Not that I'm trying to excuse any wrongdoings, but based on this poem, your conversations/prayers with GOD are not uncommon-and it is not strange that you feel the way you do-like you are basically telling GOD,"NO!!!" We all tell Him "NO," because we are not perfect-we are human-flesh wrestling with a powerful spirit-it's in our nature, but it does not have to become our nurture-our food for life. We who believe know that we are covered in His blood-and this battle with the flesh/sin is a daily struggle-and anyone who says otherwise is a fake/liar-just seek him daily. Contact me anytime-if you ever just need to conversate. Will keep you and your daughter covered in prayer-do the same for me.

SammyBoo21

01/24/2011

Awwww!!! Thank you soo much!!! Yes I will. Along with what you said tho, God does expect things from us. Once we begin on the road to salvation, He expects praise and song to be uplifted in His name. To preach toe Word of God to all. To shout it from the mountains and the hills. To sing in His ever ending love and joy. I am happy to reasd that I am not the only "sinner" battling this everday battle. Somedays I feel so overcome with guilt. no regrets, but I am not perfect. I need help and everytime I feel like I give God my problems, I basically snatch them away because He didnt take care of them fast enough. i really wish that I could stop doin that. And you too can contact me for anything. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for the write. You have inspired me as well.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

SammyBoo21’s Poems (46)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Artistic State of Mind 0
Machine Head 2
O.T.I.S. 0
Liars 0
HeartAche 0
My Life Is In 'Your' Hands 1
Something From One Thing 1
Mommy Loves You 0
A Thought 1
Through Your Eyes 0
Dear Lord Jesus 1
A Cry To My God 0
Damn it! 0
Always & Forever 0
Bah Bah Blood Sheep 0
Black As A Bear At Night 0
You Repulse Me 0
Locked-Up Questions 1
A Misunderstood Understanding 1
You're Right 0
Love 0
Ä Mother's Worth 0
Princess Mediation 2
My Baby, My Angel, My Joy 0
Soul Of A Stripper 6
Happy Father's Day 1
?What Suicide? 2
Pencil And Paper 1
Insanity, Fly Away 0
Shame, Blame, You Can Not Tame 0
Prisoner Set Free 1
Different 2
Angel Abandoned 0
Gone 0
Murder She Wrote 1
Ugly Duckling and My Swan 0
Can We Stay 1
What Must I Be 1
Trials And Tears 0
The Attack That killed Me 1
Paradise N Heaven 0
Don't Laugh At Me 0
Lust to Death 0
Fake Smiles 2
A Lifetime 0
These Feelings 2