Winver VS sumer && Thunder VS lighting

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Nature

    Winver VS sumer && Thunder VS lighting

    Winter

    Freezing as i walk
    Ice cold wind hits my face
    snow beging to fall


    Summer


    Playing volleyball
    with sun shinning in my face
    tired by the heat


    Thunder

    Invisible noise
    comes from the skies above
    Strong and powerful

    Lighting

    Bright light in the sky
    Untouchable streak of white
    Silent but fierce

    Poem Comments

    (1)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    spbsdude commented on Winver VS sumer && Thunder VS lighting

    12-13-2010

    Some very vivid images here, but it seems somewhat incomplete. I would have liked to hear about Spring and Fall as well and a little more on each season would be nice. Think of all the things that remind you of each season and let it pour out on the page. Don't worry about the order or the punctuation, you can fix that in the editing phase. Still a nice succinct poem.
    Reply to Comment

    AshleyyBabyy

    12/14/2010

    I can redo it. It was just a Creative Writing project. I did it exactly how she told me to. (Teacher) It was longer and im my opinion much better but she told me to cut stuff out...

    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

    AshleyyBabyy’s Poems (57)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    No love 2 02/21/2012
    Confused By love 2 10/16/2011
    CHRIS BROWN 0 08/07/2011
    Pure Cofidence 0 08/05/2011
    Best Friends 4 Life 0 07/31/2011
    My Grammie 0 07/31/2011
    Unexpressed & Hidden 1 07/31/2011
    You Need To Notice 0 07/30/2011
    You Should KNow 0 07/30/2011
    Stuck Trying 1 07/30/2011
    Bored + Mad = Bad 0 07/30/2011
    Obviously Easy 1 07/30/2011
    Fathers Away 1 07/30/2011
    Not Thought Thru 0 07/30/2011
    Black Boyfriend 1 07/30/2011
    Mommy 0 07/30/2011
    Difference Between us 0 07/30/2011
    Boys R amusing 1 07/30/2011
    A Unwanted Break 0 07/30/2011
    God I Need You 0 07/30/2011
    Seems like im okay 0 07/30/2011
    Hard Because Of Me 0 07/30/2011
    Dont Believe 0 07/30/2011
    I dO 0 07/30/2011
    I would've 0 07/29/2011
    Marrage 0 04/15/2011
    Screw You 0 04/11/2011
    Just A Flirt 0 04/11/2011
    Cant Tell 1 04/11/2011
    Dont want to leave 1 04/05/2011
    Nightmare 1 03/30/2011
    Discover 0 03/09/2011
    Top Of The World 0 12/14/2010
    Wishing Upon Words 1 12/14/2010
    Reminders Of Him 3 12/10/2010
    Story Of A Moment 2 12/10/2010
    Answer me 3 12/08/2010
    I think 1 11/27/2010
    Winver VS sumer && Thunder VS lighting 1 11/25/2010
    The house that never dies 1 11/25/2010
    School,School
    ,School    		 1 11/25/2010
    Life Locked Up 1 11/25/2010
    Hiaku 2 11/25/2010
    I ruined it all 1 07/18/2010
    Alive Again 0 06/09/2010
    About Thomas 0 06/09/2010
    Let It 0 06/09/2010
    With You 1 06/09/2010
    We'll Last 1 06/04/2010
    MY MOM HAS CHANGED 0 05/11/2010
    7-24-09 1 04/17/2010
    Lier 1 04/09/2010
    His meaning to me 1 04/07/2010
    Reasons.. 0 04/07/2010
    I wonder 0 04/07/2010
    I forgive you 0 04/07/2010
    The City 0 04/07/2010
    Top of Page