It Doesn't Matter
It's hard to explain what it feels likewhen it doesn't matter what you say...
in a home full of rage,
it didn't matter
always fighting, always fuming, always fearing harm
getting in fights in school
it didn't matter who started it
all it mattered was I'd done something wrong
there wasn't anything I could say to explain it
or justify how things had gotten bad
It didn't matter what I'd say
It's hard to explain what it feels like
when it doesn't matter what you say...
he'd pick me up and carry me to the bed
it was all about what he wanted
he'd take it so I'd learned to not say no
I couldn't fight enough to make it worth it
just enough to add onto my shame
It didn't matter what I'd say
So years latter, a grown up...
now I'm ontop of my life
I raise my kids and go to work
doing it all right, in my own book
there's politics and red tape,
I never let them change me
but to protect themselves they decide to write me up
it doesn't matter that it's bull shit
doesn't matter that their stories not clear
there's a box where I can write my version of the story,
but it really doesn't matter what I say
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