Mommy Dearest

6 Comments

Poem Commentary

My mother was an alcoholic.  She also wrote poetry and she like to sing.  She died in her sleep at the age of 46.  She died alone, sad and depressed.  She died before I had a chance to tell her that I understood her battle and it was okay because she was my MOMMY DEAREST and being a mother doesn't make you perfect.

I wish she would have talked to me.  She could have warned me that one day I will know her solitude.

Mommy Dearest

If only I knew our time together would be cut short
I could have done more.
I would have told you, how proud I was
how proud I am
to have shared in your life.
How unknowingly,
you taught me how to accept people for who they are,
because that may be the only way they know how to be.
You taught me how to love unconditionally,
I loved you unconditionally.
I learned to live with disappointments.
I learned that there are no guarantees.
I learned to appreciate the good
and at times it best to overlook the bad
because there is no promise for tomorrow. 
I learned to forgive
and I do forgive.
I forgive you for leaving me behind.
I forgive you for not accepting the love I had for you
and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that having me in your life wasn't enough. 
I'm sorry that you never found the happiness that you seeked.
I'm sorry that you never felt the love that you deserved.
You were still a child
when you gave me life,
searching for your existence,
yearning to be understood,
to understand.
You never saw your beauty,
you never celebrated life,
you didn't know your contributions.
You never gave YOU a chance.
I saw the sadness in your eyes
never knowing why
I knew I was one of your many regrets.
You loved me
but grief consumed your heart
and you had nothing left to give.
I grew-up in your pain
as I watched you slip away.
I cried for you
but your tears consumed mine.
I wanted you to see me 
but you were blinded
by an addiction that eventually 
stopped your heart.
You're at peace now
I believe that you finally found happiness
You may be forever gone from this life
but you live forever in me.
I share your passion in song.
I feel through my words.
Your spirit lives within me.
I possess your soul.
So, I acknowledge you, for the woman I am,
for the woman you could have been,
for the Mom I am,
for the Mom you wanted to be,
for the life I live,
for the life you left behind,
for each moment we shared, 
I wouldn't have changed a second.
I MISS YOU MOMMY DEAREST!

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bluewolf commented on Mommy Dearest

11-05-2009

I am sure that your mother looks down to you with pride and love; a love that alcohol and life pull apart in her soul. You are a strong and capable woman whose soul has gained fortitude within from the pain that alcohol has brought to your mothers and your life. The path ahead of you will bear your mother’s presence; however it will be on a spiritual level. May the Lord bless you with his love and light.

aliciagall

11/05/2009

Thank you so much. My mother was a poet as well, so I am sure I have made her proud. Thanks for your comment.

AlexBricker commented on Mommy Dearest

10-16-2009

Strength is the absolution of anger into the charisma of an understand. I commend your strength.

aliciagall

10/16/2009

I was very angry for a long time. My mother drank and I didn't understand her loneliness, unhappiness until I went through my own trials. I love my mother today and I wish I could have done more but her gift is now my gift and I am sharing my lessons with the world. Thanks for your comment.

flameofpurpose commented on Mommy Dearest

10-15-2009

This is writing Ms. Lady I must say. This is real !! You give the reader the buisness. I felt your heart. Ask me how I am able to understand and you will find find that its more than just a rubberband wrapped around pages of untold stories because the memories are not pretty as the RAINBOW. This is so authentic!!! I love it.

aliciagall

10/16/2009

WOW I like that its more than just a rubberband wrapped around pages of untold stories etc... Did you use that in a poem. I will check. Thanks for your comment.

Hustlema commented on Mommy Dearest

10-14-2009

Again another amazing write. Even though you mom is gone she would be proud of the message.

aliciagall

10/15/2009

The message is something I never had the chance to express to my mom. I was angry but I loved her and I wanted her to know but she died before I could show her the love I had for her. We will meet again.

Wesa commented on Mommy Dearest

08-20-2009

So sad, and yet so loving, actually almost comforting. I hope writing this helped you release the pain you must have been holding onto for so many years.

aliciagall

08/25/2009

Yes it did. I am still learning to identify myself through the life and death of my mother. I am still learning to release.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

aliciagall’s Poems (25)

Title Comments
Title Comments
GOD WE NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU 2
LIFE 0
I REMEMBER 2
MIC CHECK 0
HAWK WHO GOES THERE? 1
It Ain't Right! 5
Where's the Faith? 4
He Doesn't Say Goodnight? 9
I'm Still Here 1
No Stone Thrown 2
DON'T TURN AWAY 18
BE BLESSED 18
HAVE YOU NOT HEARD? 10
SATAN IS HERE 21
YOUNG BROTHER, YOU SLEEP? 12
TO MICHAEL, GONE BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN. 18
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT 8
IT HAS TO BE GOD 14
ACCEPT SANITY 7
I CRY 7
I AM YOUR SISTER 6
I LOVE 14
IT JUST ME 4
Mommy Dearest 6
Drifting By 7