My Sun

3 Comments

Poem Commentary

To my oldest son my SUN I love you with all my heart and soul

My Sun

How do you tell your heart that its been ripped out of your chest ?

How do you swallow down hurt & pain too raw to chew up & digest ?

I never saw it coming, the day you'ld pull the plug on our love with shattered glass, kicked down doors, hateful words more deadly than a 9mm slug.

I never thought I'ld be alive to see you taking my last breath, my life support since the day you were born, now my executioner swinging the fatal blow sending me to darkness & death.

Don't you realize that I don't exist without my air? I Can't survive if you're not there. You're my armor, my shield; closer to me than the skin I wear. I swear, you keep me focused & stay on my head like you were my curly hair.

Don't you comprehend, my Sun, my soul; You make me WHOLE !

How do you tell the essence of your very being that without their love life has no meaning ?

How ? Tell me if you know. Sun, I love you please don't go.

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gregster commented on My Sun

09-13-2010

SUN n not son///hmmmmmmm...well it is well written so i have no complaints

therealqb

09/13/2010

Okay, my young writer shall I explain? It serves as a double meaning, maybe even a triple one since my son/sun and I have an inside meaning as well. First level is the basic fact of our existence relying in part on the sun. Example would be in order to grow food, have oxygen (the exchange between oxygen and carbon monoxide thru plant and tree life) and in general to sustain a healthy life. Level two is the simple relation to the word sun or sunshine many people share, equating it with good times, happy feelings or thoughts etc. Finally, my son/sun and I share an inside meaning. The moon is said to be a representation of the mother, which I am his. The sun to us represents HIM my son. His strong, bright consistent love, support, assistance and mere existence in my life is as reliable, certain and sure to me as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west is. So, lol! As odd as it may seem to you! Now you have knowledge from where my purposeful choice of the spelling of the word son/sun originated. And thanks baby for the read and comment! You will find that even AWESOME individuals may have different views or beliefs, yet a well written piece remains GREAT despite that. That’s one of the very reasons that the spoken word holds SO MUCH POWER! If it has a sound that is LOUD enough to be heard PEOPLE LISTEN! Ya feel me?

SuSpence commented on My Sun

09-02-2010

Great write. I love the free form structure, it lends credibility to the truth and passion expressed within your words. You can really feel the pain and anguish your are trying to convery. And the longing for your loved one to feel your pain and frustration. The best poetry is rooted in truth and emotion, and I felt it here for sure. Keep writing like this, view your poetry as pages from the diary of your life. Thanks for sharing, Peace and Love, ~Spence

therealqb

09/02/2010

Your words ring so loud with truth that I momentarily grew deaf . I have written my life out in poetry form for a very long time, there were times in my life that my writing was my only form of release my only solace, my safe place to be free of the pain if only for a moment. In verse, rhymes & lyrics I find my serenity. THANKS EVER SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS. Respect Love & Peace Angel/QBee

Peadee commented on My Sun

08-27-2010

aww you sensitive ass lmao jk mama buh thats sum real shit

therealqb

08/29/2010

So what are you sayin huh ? LMAO ! thank you baby girl . I love you too you non sensitive lil witch you tahaha like you didn't shed a tear when you left your momma & went off to college. Neither did I huh? Weren't we cutting up onions or sumthin ? shmiss shmoo !!

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

therealqb’s Poems (107)

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Phantine 0
Temporary VayKay 0
Infinite 0
Kiss & Say .. Pause 0
Visually Impaired 0
I'm the One Who Loves You. ..Baby 0
The Key 0
WTF is the Real 0
To My Unborn Child 0
VisionQuests & NightScapes 0
The Resistance 0
THE REASON 0
Sacreligous 0
Angels Calling You 0
Q Bee & Twinn 0
'Slappin' - J.D's Theme 0
Limbo Is Stagnation 0
Another Drake Song .... 0
MoM 0
JoJo's Song 0
I'm Dead 0
To My Shining Star In Az. 0
Happy 4th of July ! 0
TIME SERVED 2
A Toast To Tha Broke 1
Jungle Lovin Me 1
The Best 1
Gambler's Bonus 0
My Verse Is Diverse 1
The Sting 0
True Love 0
What Do You See 0
I Am So Tired 1
Some Things Never Change 0
What Are You 2
I'd Stay Dreaming For You 0
Confusing Love 2
Snack For Thought 0
Everything Happens For A Reason 1
My Rebel Love 1
Death March 0
“Dred” Can’t Say What I Mean “Mack” 0
How To Please A Man 2
My Survival Scripture 3
My Slim/Eminem Like Vent 1
I'm so fresh 1
MY THOUGHTS ON LIFE. . . TODAY 0
My Sun 3
FREEDOM?? 3
What You Got 2
WHOA ! ! 1
NO WATER CAN PUT OUT THIS FIRE 1
Life's Treasure 1
Weed 1
Queen Supreme Show 0
T.H.C Emancipation Proclamation 1
You Ain't Ready 1
QUEEN SUPREME 1
Unknown Beauty 0
Wake Up ! ! 2
I Ain't Neva Lookin Back 0
Lyrical Top Gun Number One 0
Avoidin' Insanity 1
Family Reunion 0
Light Me Up 0
To My Unobtainable Love 0
You are Like 0
My Name:Silence 1
IsU-IsMe 1
The All Mighty 0
Dear Lord 0
Please Tell Me Why 1
Knowledge is Key 1
One Thing Left 2 Say 0
Brother CMM 2
Here Again 0
This Eternal Love 0
Goodbye 0
The Two Between I'm Torn 1
Lord What You Do 0
Ask and You Shall Recieve 1
Day Makes Way for Night 0
Give It Away Now 0
His Gift...Tomorr
ow
1
His Will 1
In His Hands 0
My Meaning In Life....Who I Am 1
Only Time Will Tell 1
Remember Me 2
Star by Star 0
Tall and Proud 0
The Road 0
This Time 0
A Hearts Desire 0
Where I'm From 0
Your Love 0
What You Do 0
A Dream 2
I Should have known 0
Misery's Prayer 1
Pyromaniac's Nightmare 0
Variety... The Spice Of Life 0
Some Night 1
My Person 0
Say Yes 0
Freedom Lost 0
I Love You 1