DISTORTED

9 Comments

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  • Dark Poetry

    DISTORTED
    I see you through the distorted lens of a tear
    I look away but on my back feel your leer
    I run, out of instinct not out of fear
    You’re a universe away but seem so near
    I hear your voice but I don’t understand
    You ask me a question but I hear a command
    Time ticks slowly and away blows the sand
    I am afraid to fly but more so to land
    I feel your presence as it surrounds me
    When I am wide-awake or sleeping soundly
    While the temptation of sin affects me profoundly
    I pray, I resist, while you continue to hound me
    You think you’re winning but I’ll prove you’re not
    The price I’ll pay I haven’t forgot
    The flames of Gehenna are tortuously hot
    I get lost in a maze as my demise you plot
    I wipe my brow and feel my way down the hall
    I fear that blindness will cause me to fall
    The heat burns my hands as I cling to the wall
    Sanity drips slowly as I ignore your call
    From the world I knew I have been deported
    Against my will the devil I’ve courted
    By your immoral ways I have been exhorted
    I wipe away the tears but you’re still distorted

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    dragonfly1023 commented on DISTORTED

    06-25-2009

    this is just excellent!! the visuals here are haunting. evil ensues temptation and we are all victims of that vice. love it.
    Reply to Comment

    organicchick

    06/25/2009

    Thanks!!! This poem turned out different than what i had intended but i was very excited as i realized the turn it was taking. Thank you for reading and the nice comment. I will check out yours too!

    trocka7 commented on DISTORTED

    06-23-2009

    I found this to be amazing, I really loved all of it! Thanks for sharing this....
    Reply to Comment

    ginga commented on DISTORTED

    06-15-2009

    OMG Organic the quad rhymes are fantastic and enhances the meaning entirely. Great work here. I hope you win the contest!! Ginga
    Reply to Comment

    organicchick

    06/17/2009

    Thanks...I appreciate the comments and interest in my writing. I will read yours too!!

    Reallady65 commented on DISTORTED

    06-07-2009

    As I was reading I was thinking of a betrayal of love, but your writing provided an imagery that changed my interpretation and as I read more... you confirmed my assumptions. Great job! Temptation, consequence and the potential for resilience!! Absolute reality.
    Reply to Comment

    Chrisjan commented on DISTORTED

    06-02-2009

    A very well written poem. The words you craft, in this realistic creation, should be published. This thought, must have been flowing strait from your heart on to paper. I feel, it makes the reader question where they stand. Thanx 4sharing.
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    organicchick’s Poems (28)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    THE WEDDING OF NEVER 12 05/13/2009
    ENDING 7 05/05/2009
    DISTORTED 9 06/16/2009
    HUMAN 8 06/11/2009
    CLAWING 9 06/16/2009
    MOTH EATEN MEMORIES 5 04/20/2009
    THE MORE YOU LOVE 4 04/19/2009
    SUBTLE ARE THE SIGNS 5 07/06/2009
    SHE'S LIKE SPRING 3 04/13/2009
    MUD ON MY SHOES 5 04/08/2009
    JUST CALL ME PAIN 9 04/08/2009
    FAIRY TALE TOLD 3 04/08/2009
    BITTERNESS 2 04/08/2009
    LIFE 6 04/08/2009
    SEED OF LIFE 6 04/02/2009
    SECOND LOOK 4 04/01/2009
    ICICLES 6 04/01/2009
    LOVE DAD 3 04/01/2009
    HANGING ON 4 04/01/2009
    PROOF 2 04/01/2009
    HOLD ME DEAR 2 03/31/2009
    GOSSIP 1 03/31/2009
    BROKEN WING 3 03/31/2009
    A LITTLE LOVE. 4 03/31/2009
    Your Fix. 2 03/27/2009
    A New Season 3 03/27/2009
    The mirror 6 03/27/2009
    The lovely flower. 6 03/27/2009
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