Why is he all I can think about?
Why can't I give my heart fully to the one I am with now?
I feel like I am bound.
Like hundreds of ropes are tieing me down,
And I have no where to go.
I have no one to turn to.
No one to grab my hand.
The feeling of plumiting head first is overwelming,
And I fear how I may land.
The one I am with loves me.
The other I am not sure.
I know one will always be there.
But the other is a risk.
An option with an unknown future.
But I feel as if the choice has been made for me.
Like it wasn't even my decision.
It's as though my life was planned before me,
And i just have to go along with it.
I know who my heart wants.
I know who's touch I yearn for.
But how can I hurt the one who loves me with all of his heart,
Just to see if I am wanted by another?
I don't know if it is wrong,
Wrong to think in such ways.
Everyone says that we are ment to be,
But I just can't see what they see.
My heart wants to be elsewhere.
But how do I defy everyone?
It seems no one cares how I feel.
Doesn't it matter what I want?