You Don't Know Me

I stand as tall as I can to take the brunt of your anger
as you fling words around as if they were fists saying
"you've never been worth a damn,
you're worthless and always will be, bitch."

I cringe to the corner as you come towards me
but you reach around and grab up your scotch
you guzzle it down and lurch for your keys
and stagger to your truck while I watch

to make certain you are gone before sneaking to my room
take my closest friend from it's sacred hiding place
tip toe to our shared bathroom and turn the faucet on full blast
just a precaution, wouldn't want you to know what I must efface

press blade to skin, let the two be wed
there is blood waiting to be shed
not too hard but not too light
press the blade and stop the fight

It seeps down my arm like a prayer being answered
the thin red line is like a spicket to my soul
turned on full blast and letting all flow
the hatred and angst for my father, the bastard

I ebb the flow with a damp paper towel
careful not to let any stray drops fall
wrap it up tight so it will not betray
the fact that I just mortared the spall

the spall of my heart as it has broken in millions
because of your treatment has crippled to fractions
not just on the inside, the outside scarred too
with evidence showing where cuts have been accrued

I know it's unhealthy
I know it's not safe
but do you suggest another way
to deal with my strife?

I didn't think so, so don't ridicule my methods
of handling the pain of an absent mother and an alcoholic father.
you don't know me, not at all,
so just leave me to my own devices, there's no reason to thrall.