You Don't Know Me


You Don't Know Me

I stand as tall as I can to take the brunt of your anger
as you fling words around as if they were fists saying
"you've never been worth a damn,
you're worthless and always will be, bitch."

I cringe to the corner as you come towards me
but you reach around and grab up your scotch
you guzzle it down and lurch for your keys
and stagger to your truck while I watch

to make certain you are gone before sneaking to my room
take my closest friend from it's sacred hiding place
tip toe to our shared bathroom and turn the faucet on full blast
just a precaution, wouldn't want you to know what I must efface

press blade to skin, let the two be wed
there is blood waiting to be shed
not too hard but not too light
press the blade and stop the fight

It seeps down my arm like a prayer being answered
the thin red line is like a spicket to my soul
turned on full blast and letting all flow
the hatred and angst for my father, the bastard

I ebb the flow with a damp paper towel
careful not to let any stray drops fall
wrap it up tight so it will not betray
the fact that I just mortared the spall

the spall of my heart as it has broken in millions
because of your treatment has crippled to fractions
not just on the inside, the outside scarred too
with evidence showing where cuts have been accrued

I know it's unhealthy
I know it's not safe
but do you suggest another way
to deal with my strife?

I didn't think so, so don't ridicule my methods
of handling the pain of an absent mother and an alcoholic father.
you don't know me, not at all,
so just leave me to my own devices, there's no reason to thrall.

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WhisperingWind commented on You Don't Know Me


Very sad, yet a very good write. It takes courage to put your inner most feelings out for the world to see.

kmeadows commented on You Don't Know Me


very powerful. You were able to evoke emotion and showed me your soul. Very deep, I am so sorry you must experience this and I hope you find your way through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

christliked commented on You Don't Know Me


I too was touched by your words and walked with and I fully understood, it's too bad that pain is good because it opens up understanding and healing

Panaramicpoet commented on You Don't Know Me


Wow . . so deep . . .but IM sorry about your past. I really appreciate your writing. Good expression.

SilverGirl commented on You Don't Know Me


Fubar.. I can feel your pain sweetie.. This is well put, cryptic in nature, yet telling a true tale of your innermost pain.. My heart is with you dear one.. and anytime you feel you need someone to talk to.. I will be here.. Silver Girl xoxo

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

FUBAR93’s Poems (26)

Title Comments
Title Comments
It's In The Air 1
Just Another Poem About Me 2
Do I Regret You? 10
Ponderation 7
Caveat Emptor 17
Against the Current 8
The Woman Who Stares at Goats 9
Eyes Wide Shut 10
Lullaby 7
20 Things You Don't Know About Me 2
Ring of Fire 2
The End to Come 13
Resurrection 6
My Second Home 2
Q & A 7
Gun, Hat, and Boots 4
I Am Me 5
Poem 4
Sonny 6
Don't Be a Pedophile 13
Dad and I 4
Underneath 14
You Don't Know Me 19
4 O'Clock Sharp 12
Leaves 14