Despite the exhaustion because of long hours of work,
the minute my fingers lay themselves on the keyboard,
they start to move as if they have minds of their own.
Thoughts just keep on flowing and are coming out off nowhere.
Though I am already physically drained,
my mind keeps on thinking about random ideas
and I just couldn’t help but put them into words.
I know that I’m not making sense but somehow
I want to alleviate the words and make them understandable.

I don’t exactly know what my very thoughts are at this moment. There’s so many of them and I’m having a hard time
to grab them one by one and put them
into simplest words as possible.
Though there are so many ideas flowing inside my head,
I have a goal as of this moment
and that is to try to express them
no matter how long it will take me just to finish this piece.

I used to fear my instinct.
Every time I guess something,
it always turns out to be correct.
That’s the thing I fear the most: I AM ALWAYS RIGHT.
Why do I feel scared?
Because I couldn’t accept the fact
that there are things that you don’t want to happen,
but at some point, they are happening right under your very nose.
I try my hardest to ignore it but reality is evil.
The more I try to overcome it the more it makes me to succumb.

There’s this feeling of anxiety within me
and the sole reason of this sentiment is t
he tremendous events that are happening
in the world nowadays.
I’m not trying to sound too hysterical about this matter,
but I somehow feel very uncomfortable and emotional.

I couldn’t help but think about the safety of the people I truly care for. I couldn’t help but wonder if we will see each other again.

What if I have only a day or two to live?

Would it be enough?

Am I going to be remembered because of the good qualities

and good things I’ve done

or just the exact opposite?

I don’t want to sound too dramatic,
but it saddens me every time these very thoughts arise.

I’ve decided to stop by the pier right after work to relax.
I sat by the rock and played with the water below my feet.
I just watched and enjoyed the sunset.
It was the most beautiful thing
and I felt that all my pain and worries vanished at that very moment.
I felt free and at ease.
I didn’t even feel that I’ve stayed there for a while.

Within those hours that I stayed there
I’ve realized so many things about life.
It’s like the place was full of inspiration. T
here were children playing, a family who was having a picnic;
groups of friends chatting,
and lovers walking with hands held tightly to each other.

But the scene that caught my attention
was those two elders who were sitting by the bench
and were talking with smiles on their wrinkled faces;
Their hands entwined.
It was the most romantic scene I have ever captured.
It made me happy as well.
If only all married couples were like those two elders,
it will surely make every person live with a happy family.

And because of this very scene,
I became hopeful.
I smile and feel good because I know
that love still works; not only for me, but also for others.

Viejay04 (6-3-2010)