My Heart, Just Like My Mouth, Dares To Speak For Itself

People come and people go; and for a certain reason, what’s left behind is a feeling of uncertainty of facing tomorrow. Some leave footprints that lead us to undying bliss and some leave a mark; a scar that even time couldn’t erase the bitter memories. Memories of the past that no matter how hard it makes us to let go of them, somehow, somewhere, we couldn’t just unleash them and forcing us to keep on looking back; hindering us from finding closure; preventing us over and over from opening the door to the future.

At some point these bitter memories that we carry no matter where our feet take us only make us stronger each day. The thought of having a goal to change for a better person inspires us to keep on going. Though we wonder why and how, the overwhelming feeling of force run through our hearts and make us even more courageous in facing the present and giving us hope on looking to the future.

Sometimes things happen and others don’t. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much effort we exert, we keep on failing not because we are weak, not because we didn’t try hard enough or because we lack the capacity to do so, but because of the fact that things are simply not meant to be.

Because of lack of hope, we tend to feel that we are clumsy and couldn’t do anything properly. We even put the blame on ourselves which only adds burden in our hearts. But how funny it is that unnoticeably, the feeling of hopelessness give us the urge to keep on looking for solutions; solutions that bring us surprises and a little bit of hope that there is still a treasure waiting for us at the very end of the rainbow.

Happiness is like a layer of thin ice. Even for this lifetime, we couldn’t get exactly what we want. We couldn’t be with the person we like; couldn’t hold on to the thing we treasure the most; or even reach the goals we have set since we were young. But because something is inspiring us somehow, we do a great work that is backing us up to start all over again; helping us to feel the happiness once more.

People with a story, a bitter past can create outstanding works. Why? People who couldn’t forget the past do not dare to forget it no matter how bitter it may be. They buried it in their hearts and let it become a part of their story. The past becomes the path to a great success later in life for it sets as an inspiration.

But we must know that we can’t always look back. We will not improve this way. That’s why there’s always a chance for everyone; a chance to become a new and whole person again.

I don’t know exactly why and how I say these things. Maybe my heart speaks this time. Maybe I’ve learned from my mistakes and appreciate the lessons I got out of them. I have people who are dear to me but I know some time in life, they will decide to walk out of my circle, just like what happened from the people of my past. The bitter memories still haunt me and I found it hard to erase them until I decided to bury them deep inside my heart.

I do crazy things in life. I exert a lot of effort into something that I think worthy of my time. But I fail and I feel miserable. People feel miserable at times. I even sulk myself in bed and do not dare to look for a light most of the time. I just wait for the time to come by and help me realize that it isn’t really meant to be.


My bitter past and bitter memories now become a part of my story. And I know that time will come that I will be freed from them. But not right now. I don’t intend to let go of them yet. I still want to treasure them no matter how bitter and unbearable they may be. They are the source of my strength; a source of hope that I can still change my life for the better.

This is also the reason why I write. I have the capacity to do so because I am inspired. I write not to brag nor to amaze people or encourage them to criticize my work I write because I have a heart; a heart that is always inspired. Inspired to change and become a better person; a person who always dare to speak her heart out.