I often wonder why he didn't see ,
that i was doing much more than playing house .
I did what made him happy , even though it sacrificed my own happiness.

Tides of crashing disobiedience towards my parents ,
thought he'd see past the " ruin me schemes".

It's true I'm beautiful , it's true I'm not perfect,
now that you know this, your love has decreased,
yet, in the beginning you told me everyone has a past.
Why did you sleep with me if you thought i was moving too fast?

I thought you were mature enough to leave the little boys playground, thought the way you made me moan in the bed was a sign . especially when you lay real close and grind.

It was first in my eye , that gleam , when you said you loved me made me cream. My heart couldn't rationalize it being anything more than a dream .

Why didn't you save me , left me dirty and crying , a hopeless romantic, the agony of my burst ed heart.
each destroyed throbbing part.

I thought you were the answers to my riddle , a true knight , the fire in my heart was extinguished and cold,
the way you used me, then left me , was  lingering and bold.

See in my mind was scorched the idea of a perfect man on a horse , this would only turn out to exist in movies and books , of course. forever chasing what i could never seem to find , only tortured delusions of my own mind .

Everyday i waited in hunger , for you to love me as much as i loved you , for our spirits to inter twine, for something more special than just a tingle down my spine. I let my eyes do the begging , my heart pulled on yours so strong , that it took you years to leave me alone .

Till every sound of your voice , sounded like poison, the very thought of you , mention of your name , brung me undying pain. my mind held captive wrapped in a stray jacket insane .