Beneath the Surface

9 Comments

Beneath the Surface

Years of motion, bottled grey
Waves of silence, gone astray to these
unwanted thoughts.

Piercing no one but the target
Almost there
Beneath the silence of the stare
Beneath my heart of subtle layers

Make me cry beneath the sayings
of my ocean.

1-10-10

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(9)

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cousinsoren commented on Beneath the Surface

03-06-2010

Wow! A perfect gem of innuendos and subtleties conveyed by clever metaphorical imagery. Meaning is deep beneath the surface, "Beneath my heart of subtle layers" Springsize has correctly referred to the Pacific Ocean as an anlalogy to illustrate the implications of this poem. My rating for masterly handling of subtlety is 10x10+

frog

03/15/2010

Thank you most kindly!

Rhymer commented on Beneath the Surface

03-06-2010

Excellent write in every way, can't say more 10 from me.

frog

03/15/2010

Thank you so much :)

Maleficent commented on Beneath the Surface

02-21-2010

a very smooth, fluid piece... wonderful imagery in so few words... write on! ;)

frog

03/15/2010

Thank you!

BringMeBullets commented on Beneath the Surface

02-19-2010

Had to save this one to my favorites. You're touching a lot of people with your writing. This is my favorite out of your collection so far. A great write from you. My favorite part is "Years of motion, bottled gray..." Wonderful! A ten from me! Too bad I can't go higher!

frog

03/15/2010

It means a lot to me to see you say that.

ginga commented on Beneath the Surface

02-04-2010

frog, This poem is fabulous. The subtlety of the word choices and emotional underlying innuendos are superb. ginga

frog

02/18/2010

thank you

Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

frog’s Poems (365)

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Title Comments
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The Aftermath 6
Virtue 5
Sequence 5
The Yard 4
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The Path and the Journey 8
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Forward Backward 1
Outside Inside 1
Every little moment 2
Notions 1
Spirits 3
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Breaking Silence 4
Branded 2
Play Pretend 3
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Blended 2
Time 1
The Call 1
The Thought 1
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Fear 2
Opening 1
The Breath 2
Freedom 0
The Vine 1
Crowded 1
The Bench 1
Lunatics 1
Almost 1
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Don't Go 1
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Broken Glass 1
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The Conversation 0
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The Treasure 0
Empty 0
Rise and Fall 0
Fire and Lava 0
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Feeding Time 5
My Good Friend 3
The Scale 4
Razor 2
Circle Cycle 3
Winter Winds 3
Patterns 2
Miles 1
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Reason Season 1
Slumber 2
The Jungle 3
Moments 1
The Swamp and the Swing 2
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The Circles 1
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The Leaves 0
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The Thorns 2
Unfinished Business 1
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The Door 2
Falling 1
The Circle 1
The Window 1
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The Angels 6
The Cat 0
Planting 0
Clearing Out 1
The Flow 1
The Mill 0
Casting Stones 0
Thinking 1
The Sky 1
Fragments 2
Thoughts 0
Running 4
The Climb 1
Dignity 0
Open 0
The Darkness 1
Lost 1
The Search 0
The Tide 0
Bubbles 0
Growing 0
Dreams 0
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The Song 1
The Clouds 2
Disconnected 3
Camping 1
Yours and Mine 0
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Only Human 0
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The Bond 1
The House 0
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The Marbles 2
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Itches 0
Sunglasses 0
Hidden 0
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The Protector 2
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Finger Lickin' Good 2
Is It? 1
Awkward 1
The Aftermath 1
Tact 1
The Creatures 1
Steak 0
Richeous 0
The Box II 1
The Beach 1
Handsome 1
The Cookie Jar 0
Hazel Eyes 0
The Mirror and the Face 1
Memories 0
The Last Drink 0
The Picture 0
The Car 0
Whipping Goat 0
The Fans 0
Raining 0
The Slob 0
Worth It 0
The Braid 0
The Cactus 4
The Stare 2
Grace 3
The Price 1
Peeling Paint 1
The Illusion 1
Skin Deep 0
The Man With the Dog 0
The Response 0
Majic Marker 1
The Wall 1
The Escape 0
Cutting Loose 1
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The Trance 0
The Shadows 0
Dinner 0
The Glove 0
Backwards 3
The Friend 1
The Watchdog 2
To and Fro 1
The Look 3
The Pot 2
The Journey 3
Intertwined 1
The Candle 0
3am 6
The Fantasy 3
The Flower 2
The Seagulls 0
The Wind 2
Projection 0
The Daggers 0
Aging 2
The Nap 1
The Garden 4
The Dawn 2
The Oppressor 2
Moving Forward 1
The Bird 0
The Exchange 0
The Source 0
The incident 0
Shame 2
Emmeshed 0
Without 0
Passed Down 3
Intubation 0
Growing 0
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Silence 4
Peace 0
Trudging 3
Delicate 0
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The Circle 1
The Now 4
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Beyond Death 0
Holiday 0
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Moving Forward 0
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Lingering 0
Loosening 0
Union 1
The Present 0
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Buried 0
Presence 0
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