Panic

Squeezing,
my throat tightens
In a shameful fright
As if the hands
Are still upon me.

Gasping,
I see the moments
Of my life pass by
And wonder if it counts
As 'good enough'.

Reliving these moments
Is no easy task
Keeping a straight face
As I relive the past.

Eating, overindulging
Careless sin
Anything to fill
The hole within.

Consuming
Before it consumes me
Gaping holes
Accross this sea
Of tangled thorns.

Immense
As this feeling grows
Bondage in
Among my foes.

Constriction is
As a girdle binds
My sensless notions
Growing fast
Amongst the vortex
Of my
Wanting
Thirsty
Soul.

Afraid of freedom
In it's vastness
Exposed for all
The world to see
As in
A naked field
Of flowing wind.
An easy target
For my enemies.

I feel the rage
The beast within
Sliding through the
Thoughts
I'm in.

Lumpy as
The darkness falls
I seek my nest
Addiction calls.

Frail am I
In shrouded vests
Peeking outward
To invest.

Thirsty, fill my cup
With wine.
None for you,
Cause it's all mine.

Casting, fill my heart
With glee.
Cutting off
My need
For thee.