Sonnet 3

21 Comments

Poem Commentary

I am writing a series of poems with someone I love very much, I wrote sonnet 1 and she wrote sonnet 2 and we will alternate back and forth and link each poem to the one that follows in the commentary, here is the link to hers, Sonnet 2 - http://www.originalpoetry.com/sonnet-2-my-midnight-sky - When Sonnet 4 is complete I will link it as well.

Sonnet 3


To imagine our love in a slumbers dream
Meeting in the abstract regions of my mind
You are always welcome if you choose to believe
Deep past my cerebral we will climb
Where the seconds seem to pass like the hours
Love mists the air to swim in your eyes gleam
As you seduce me with your superchick powers
I fall swiftly under your spell and we sing C'est la vie
But fortunate am I, for when I awake
Laying next to me is my dream come true
Then you open your eyes just as mine begin to break
And you whisper softly to me 'I love you'
So long as I shall dream and rise each passing day
In every which way, my loves depth I promise to convey



Poem Comments

(21)

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stellar commented on Sonnet 3

12-20-2010

oh the realization of love...what more can you ask for?,,,I'm particularly attracted with this line...Love mists the air to swim in your eyes gleam...so romantic...^_^ v

RHPeat commented on Sonnet 3

12-07-2010

What I find interesting here as a free-verse sonnet with end line rhymes is the strange rhyme scheme that you have created: (xaxabxbxcxcxdd). Ending in a rhyming couplet A very unusual mixture in the structure. I really see the mix fitting to the overall structure of the poem from context to metaphors and music. It is quite the hybrid like a jerky sandwich. And I mean that in a positive way. A Poet friend// RH Peat

ESSENCEOFLOVE commented on Sonnet 3

11-22-2010

Beautiful! This one showed great emotion, passion, and love. Keep them coming. I love your voice. These beautiful words touched my heart. Thank you for sharing...........E

Magician commented on Sonnet 3

11-06-2010

Great writing and emotion conveying life real dream is to find someone you love and they are there when you need them Excellent writing

eddie14 commented on Sonnet 3

10-20-2010

wow this was very nice spenc Keep the dream alive

When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

SuSpence’s Poems (53)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Eyes Of Hazel One 6
Each New Day 16
The Tomorrow Dream 43
What See You 19
Nirvana (Haiku) 13
Sonnet 3 21
The Poetry Of Time 33
Mirrored Souls 33
My Open Broken Heart 20
Passing Thoughts 16
Sonnet 1 19
Ode To My Love 17
Angel With Butterfly Wings 20
Procrastinati
on
16
A Conversation in Appreciation 13
Miranda's Song 14
The Sarasota Blues 27
Highku 22
Tripping Stream of Consciousness 35
Along The River's Breath 51
Sometimes... 37
Transport 34
Love Never Knows 39
SuSpence's Dream 33
Ode to the Beatles (acrostic challenge) 18
The Generation Who Sold The World 30
Christine 24
Glenn Beck (Haiku) Compilation 32
The Tragic Tale of Alejandro Vega 56
Ballad of the Lost Man 32
Gulf of Fire (Haiku) 34
Fade to White 34
Ugly World 53
Searchin' for Love 26
Lost am I 28
Shards of Me 27
The Sadness, 10
The New Moon 18
I Imagine, 13
Lovesick, Lonesome Blues 11
SIX FOOT 11
Beautiful Poet 10
The Morning Sun 5
A Question for Love 13
Realm of Delusion 26
Simply Thoughts of You 9
Caught Staring 6
The Edge of the Headlands 3
In My Mind... 15
Thoughts of Natalia 14
A New Path 10
Daydream 12
Gone is my Sunshine 17