The Dragon in the Moon

3 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
  • ,
  • Fantasy

    Poem Commentary

    Nothing can seperate you from the one you love but you. Love is infinite. What would you do for the one you love?

    The Dragon in the Moon

    Have you ever wondered who lives in the moon?
    Perhaps you should ask the fair lady who loves him so.
    As the story goes the dragon fell in love with his lady fair and wanted to feel her embrace forever,but love was fleeting, and others wanted her company keeping.
    In desperation, the dragon swept his fair lady away.
    Up into the moon they lived for a month and a day.
    But his lady fair grew weak and frey ,and she had to  return home, or she would face sudden death, and the dragon feared he would be alone.
    So they made love once or twice that evening, and he gently flew her home on the the wings of silver and gold,
    As the story is told, the dragon grew lonely and asked the sun to watch over his lady fair. He made a promise to her that the dragon in the moon would always be there.
    He longed to be with his love and dared not go back on his promise, so he made a bargain at the first sign of an eclipse he would be in her arms as promised.
    That's when I awoke to find him there beside me, body glistening with moonbeams abroad.
    And we made love, for time was very short. Dawn was now approaching, and the angel tapped at the window to show me the way home.
    I arrived home with tears on my cheek, and every night I stare at the moon and I can hear him speak,
    Do not be afraid, I will be with you soon...
    I love you.

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    BDIsernhagen commented on The Dragon in the Moon

    06-05-2009

    I really found your shift from third person to first person effective and profound. good write! anatowa kudumono sadada hoshi desuka? (its the only japanese I know....lol)

    chinablack

    06/06/2009

    Thank you . very much .

    Paolo commented on The Dragon in the Moon

    06-05-2009

    I really enjoy the way you put this story together in a way that even though one might have heard similar stories this one appears completely original. There are great images here, "body glistening with moonbeams" (though I would have dropped the, "abroad".) I might drop the "I love you" at the end because you have already painted a beautiful picture of that already and to state it hear diminishes it.

    chinablack

    06/05/2009

    Thank you paolo. I value your opinion greatly. Thank you very much. Domoarigato!

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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