The Love Story


Poem Commentary

True love is that in which one will give their life for another. Few people posses this trait and greedy people want to possess it.

The Love Story

This is not a traditional form of poetry nor does it follow any guidelines or form.
This is a love story, truly out of the norm.
The story begins with a girl who is torn between two worlds.
One of her lover and the other from her mother land.
Drama seems to follow her, as well as troubles of time.
It was a late night, the eclipse was abroad,
the little bird was wounded and her soul was taken with with the break of a shard.
She became possessed by a demon that stole her soul.
While thousands of miles away, the one she loved felt helplessly alone.
He wanted to comfort her, but what could he do?
While his beloved lay in her bed and consumed her salty tears, and was overwhelmed with gloom.
Because her soul was disturbed and torn into a thousand small pieces, she began to fade away.
As she prepared to say goodbye to her beloved and drown herself at land's end,  a small silver dragon brought a box covered in yellow rose ribbon, that said to....... from....... for my beloved, for whom I will stop time.
As she opened the delicate box, inside was a amazing sight.
He had given part of her soul to her, on this very night.
A strange thing happened as the demon fled , a tear was shed, from her malnourished body.
As the story goes, the young girl did not take her life, instead she traveled on the wings of a dragon on this eclipse night.
As the wings surfaced the mortal world, she fell upon the eyes of her beloved and for eternity she was under his spell.
They say love tells a story for those that are chosen to experience it's power.
For those whom it chooses to dismiss, they are the prey of loneliness and grief.

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ayyan commented on The Love Story


a good love story which is nicely placed by you. Your creative thought is very well understood. very nice

Pisces00 commented on The Love Story


This is amazing. I like your use of the mind a good image of whats going on. Its not poetry but its very amazing and creative in itself. Niice

photochick commented on The Love Story


great job china loved the story it may not follow any guidelines but ti still is a great thing to me great job i enjoyed reading every line and could see it all within my mind thanks for the grand love story

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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chinablack’s Poems (48)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Time 7
The Love Story 3
The Bayou 9
The Rain 3
Boundaries 5
Breathless 3
Untouchable 3
Pulchritude 3
Black Sky 2
The Dance 4
December 1
Broken 1
War 3
Possessed 2
Today 1
Anger 1
Its Your Loss 3
Alone 6
Music 3
The Shield 2
Is it Love? 2
Beautiful 1
Soulless 2
Cyanide 2
I Am Poetry 7
The Tear 3
The Girl Without a Face 4
Stay Clear of the Dark 2
The Fallen Angel 3
Through My Eyes 4
The Dragon in the Moon 3
The Rain 1
Stained 5
Hell 6
Mirror Image 6
The Guardian 4
Forever 7
The Butterfly 7
Happiness 4
The Knife 6
The Moment I Fell In Love 7
The Morning Dew 2
Wicked 2
Who am I 8
My Brother's Keeper 3
Fear 5
Unjustifiable 4