headless turtles

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Death
    • ,
  • Loss
    • ,
  • My Feelings

    headless turtles

     

    headless turtles

    in my
    crab trap
    were two
    big blue-claw
    crabs - and
    two small fist-sized
    salt water turtles

    my office job
    got before
    my practice
    of checking the
    trap about
    every 3 or four
    days

    two weeks
    past ..and
    during that
    time the big
    crabs ate the
    heads off the small
    turtles
    imprisoned in
    my trap

    i felt
    horrible
    as they
    floated
    away
    on the surface
      gulls
    -  picking -
    them
    clean

    i killed those
    special
    little
    headless
    turtles
    because
    my
    job
    got in
    front
    of their
    precious
    natural
    lives

     

    poetography
    westhampton beach
    dune rd
    bay side
    july 3 2009

    Poem Comments

    (4)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    RHPeat commented on headless turtles

    07-04-2009

    There appears to be some confusion in your opening: (salt water turtles/ my office job/ got before/ my practice/ of checking the/ trap about ) How did the job get the turtles? Didn't the trap catch the turtles? Your job caused you not to check the traps. Put in this structure you have your job catching the turtles. you might want to reword the lines right there with more definite intent. Otherwise I do like the concept of the poem. Good writing, the form suggests time passing the way it is dribbled out down the page. This works well with the demise of the turtles, even the way the drift off floating. I would change the block about the photo so it doesn't look like its part of the poem. I started reading it as part of the poem until I realized what it was. I've been putting my info. in that small area that is generally just above the poem when you enter it on the board. Thanx for sharing this one. A poet friend/ RH Peat
    Reply to Comment

    laydbak1 commented on headless turtles

    07-04-2009

    It is a great thing to humbly admit a mistake, that hopefully others may learn from it... It is a greater thing to embed it's lesson into our own soul, that we not revisit it.. A very compelling and great, simple write... 10 here...
    Reply to Comment

    lightcourier commented on headless turtles

    07-03-2009

    Damn jobs! I really liked this! Super symbolism presented in a pointalistic verse structure. pop pop pop pop bam! Nice work! Thanks!
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    MikeDomino’s Poems (108)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    The Poet 0 11/18/2014
    many lives 0 06/12/2014
    naked in front of the moon 0 06/11/2014
    Pity the bum 2 06/09/2014
    A Poem 1 06/07/2014
    what - green snow? 1 05/30/2014
    cowboys of new york 0 05/28/2014
    A Night at the Movies 1 05/21/2014
    The Case of the Missing Moustache 0 05/21/2014
    a simple man 0 05/16/2014
    The Perfect Banana 0 05/10/2014
    to cute to let go 7 09/10/2009
    don't take me to a coktail party 6 09/09/2009
    Real War 6 09/09/2009
    naked in front of the moon 5 09/09/2009
    the 4th of war 1 09/08/2009
    cliff's elbow 3 09/08/2009
    conversation with the moon 11 09/02/2009
    the world 6 09/02/2009
    three short poems about nothing 2 09/02/2009
    silence 13 08/31/2009
    Keeping a Happy Mind is Like Walking a Tight Rope 6 08/31/2009
    im tired 2 08/31/2009
    Big Foot Discovered 1 08/31/2009
    the living female form 6 08/30/2009
    The Sink 0 08/30/2009
    Safe 0 08/30/2009
    the run-away 3 08/30/2009
    Nothing 0 08/30/2009
    Orders for Heaven 0 08/30/2009
    Lobster Bibs 0 08/30/2009
    kerouac’s cave 6 08/29/2009
    My Two Feet 3 08/29/2009
    My Two Feet 0 08/29/2009
    i i i 9 08/15/2009
    Jupiter Sky 5 08/12/2009
    acceptable death count ? 3 08/11/2009
    screaming signs 3 08/11/2009
    East End 2 08/11/2009
    Wardrobe 2 08/10/2009
    Surfing 1 08/10/2009
    handcuffed 7 08/08/2009
    dedication in the sun 2 08/08/2009
    asylum alley 7 08/08/2009
    Holding Hands 5 08/07/2009
    Art 2 08/05/2009
    Stuck in the 60's 5 07/16/2009
    Jack is dead 3 07/15/2009
    poetry hangover 7 07/15/2009
    shut eye therapy 3 07/15/2009
    underbelly - don't look 1 07/14/2009
    shuv your oil 0 07/14/2009
    The Marlin's Eye 2 07/13/2009
    Shopping mall on a monday afternoon 0 07/13/2009
    a green wagon 3 07/12/2009
    naked water 3 07/12/2009
    the psych-cottage 5 07/12/2009
    to hell with the news 1 07/12/2009
    for a variety or reasons 2 07/11/2009
    my wife scolds me 4 07/10/2009
    Nakedness 1 07/09/2009
    loss 0 07/09/2009
    me and my key board 0 07/09/2009
    hows bizness ? 0 07/09/2009
    Powerless 0 07/09/2009
    hair cut 0 07/08/2009
    normal 0 07/08/2009
    sleeping with the sun 0 07/07/2009
    too many ways 4 07/05/2009
    The Gold Watch 3 07/04/2009
    headless turtles 4 07/03/2009
    headless turtles 2 07/03/2009
    Faces in Coffins 0 07/02/2009
    dry dog food 0 07/02/2009
    do 0 07/02/2009
    change 2 07/02/2009
    Country 0 07/02/2009
    Morning 0 07/02/2009
    winter 1 07/02/2009
    The Pump 0 07/02/2009
    a burned little girl 2 07/01/2009
    Florida 0 07/01/2009
    Time and 2 other Poems 0 07/01/2009
    Three Poems 0 07/01/2009
    Electric Night 3 06/30/2009
    NASCAR 0 06/30/2009
    hair harmony 2 06/29/2009
    YMCA Bowery 3 06/28/2009
    rainbow over the east side 11 06/28/2009
    no mo woiken 20 06/28/2009
    Slainte 5 06/28/2009
    Celebrity Death 28 06/27/2009
    Manhattan Snow 14 06/27/2009
    cement shoes 14 06/25/2009
    Hard Core 22 07/16/2009
    Africa 13 06/22/2009
    hard 10 06/21/2009
    not ashaned to admit 25 06/21/2009
    rank 7 06/20/2009
    Surfing 14 06/20/2009
    War of the Seasons 12 06/20/2009
    fog 14 06/13/2009
    nothing 5 06/08/2009
    education and defense of newspapers 12 06/07/2009
    excercise 9 06/05/2009
    Little 30 06/04/2009
    dog n lights 19 06/04/2009
    Casino 28 07/09/2009
    Top of Page