The Path we Take


  • Jayandben
  • Chillin' and writin' the life ^.^

Poem Commentary

This writing is about a teenager facing the temptations of drugs.

The Path we Take

     I didn't jump because I knew I could, I jumped because there was noone around to stop me. I look back now knowing I dove in too deep, but even if someone was holding me back, would I have done it anyway? I may never know. All I know is how I got here and where I am now.
     I was standing on the edge, just sort of peering over wondering how cold it would be. There were others down there too. I wondered why they never seemed to come up for air. Sure, there were a few attempts, but all that ever came above he surface were some bubbles, and those failures were never seen again.
     A normal thought train would redirect course to go as far away as possible, but who really defines normal? So, off the edge and holding my breath was my next step.
     The icy liquid pierced my skin as my veins burned inside me like acid, slowly rotting me from my core out. I opened my eyes. Well, at least, I think I did. I really couldn't see anything. I looked like it does when you close your eyes to sleep: dark and empty. After a few moments, that's pretty much how I felt: dark and empty.
     Even though I knew there were a ton of people around me, the water still seemed like a hollow and dreadful place. I couldn't begin to imagine why so many people had risked so much; they'd left everything behind for this.
     Drifting around in the moment, I paddled up for air, but I guess I must have been one of those bubbles because I didn't make it. Instead, my ankles were caught by something or maybe nothing at all. I didn't really feel anything pulling me down. That's just where I ended up: down. Maybe it was desire: the desire to know what people saw in this place or why it was so hard to leave. But the next thing I knew, I was entranced by the feeling of billions of grains of sand grinding at my spine. I don't think it was necessarily that specific feeling that pleased me, but a feeling at all. I guess it kind of proved to me that I was still alive; proved that I was still human. I'm not sure as to what I'd expected, but that really brought me back. It brougt me back to reality, if only for a moment. The acid feeling in the water was pecking at my lips trying to force me to open up, force me to lose myself like the others had.
     My heart pounded harder and harder until I thought it would explode in my throat. My lungs were burning along with my soul: screaming for salvation, for some kind of relief. After many moments of despair, I couldn't hold on any longer. I let the inviting substance into my body. As it flooded in, all of my organs, bones, and muscles cried out in pain, needing something to hold on to, to take it all away.
     Suddenly my entire being was crushed under the extreme pressure of my thoughts. As my eyes slowly creaked open to find my own room surrounding me, my lungs found it safe to indulge in the air. My body discovered the warm embrace of actuality. The realization of my sweet horrors brought me to a tranquil state of breathing and a peaceful repose.

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Ras34 commented on The Path we Take


good poem =) its royce i told u i would read all your poems so here i go



Ha thanks, Royce :) You rock :P

1990lh commented on The Path we Take


great poem i really enjoyed readind it i agree with clifty take your path



I am glad you like it :)

cliftondurant commented on The Path we Take


you should't take the leap you want find the answer in drugs so i bid you take the right path great read



It was a while ago and I have walked away from that edge. I'm glad you liked it :)

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

Jayandben’s Poems (39)

Title Comments
Title Comments
A Voice 0
No Such Thing as Stars 2
Sweet Remedies 0
Now I've Forgotten 0
Filling Out This Hole 0
Are You the Savior 1
Never Too Late 3
Yesterday's Horizon 1
Can't be Cut Away 1
Every Fairytale 0
Who Would Believe 0
Saving You 1
Rather Be Crazy 0
The Greatest Desire 0
Drowning Soul 1
Dear Ben 0
Going Back Home 0
Our Last Mourning 0
No Longer A Home Of Mine 1
What A Light 1
Vampiric Desires 0
Elizabeth Smith 0
Poetry 1
Last Kiss 5
All The Pieces 2
All These Windows 1
Where Has The Love Gone? 1
(A Part of a Project I Made For Class) Lost Episode os Odysseus 0
Such Contradiction
So Close 1
The Path we Take 3
A Home to my Soul 2
Taking Over 1
What I've Become 2
Best Friend 2
I'll Be Here 1
Falling For Sin 1
You showed me 3