Falling For Sin

I'm not sure what to think anymore, after all that's happened. I'm not so sure what I see anymore, after all the tears that have fogged my vision. I've given you so many chances and now, again, I'm broken on the floor. It's no different than before, other than these questions, these thoughts that echo through my mind.I'm not sure if I can say I know you, for all I know are your lies. I can't even say I know myself, for all of me was in you: in your hands was my heart, but now I'm shattered in your clutch. My life was in your arms, but I guess you squeezed a little too tight. All my dreams were of you, but who are you now? Your hands are around my throat and you're screaming in my face. I can't hear a word you say, I'm too focused on what used to be. I'm choking on my words to hard to explain. I'm drowning in my blood as it fades into the floor. Why do I try when I don't even matter? I don't remember what I saw in you, all I can remember is now. I remember staring into the mirror as you looked down on me. Your piercing eyes saw right through me so that I could see myself, now I see a ghost. I see pale grey eyes and a sad face, ragged hair and stained clothes. You proved to me how worthless I am. Well, congratulations! Can't you let me be me now: a worthless excuse for a soul? But no, you still haunt me. You find me in my sleep and steal me from that peaceful slumber. My eyes are closed and all I see, at first, is darkness. Then a small light brings me hope, but you take that away for the light is dancing into flames. I feel them burning my soul and yet I still feel icy cold. I scream due to the pain and fall down choking. I reach for you only to find heavy chains pulling me back. Your demented laugh runs through me and you whisper in my ear, "Don't you love what you've become? Don't worry, it's not me. I didn't change you. You've always been that way. I just helped to let you see. Don't you love your masterpiece? Don't you love what you've created?" I haven't always been this way! I knw it bold and true. I gave you my love and you dyed it black. Falling into your trap, I couldn't find my way out, but that's all because of you. I'll admit that I took the path, but it was you that pushed me down and locked the door. It was you that made me who I am. I'm not worthless, alone, and helpless!And I'm not afraid of you anymore. Don't you love how weak you are? Don't you love how you've been defeated? Take away that sick lullaby and find another innocent to trap because strong and spirited and you're not coming back. My eyes are closed, no more tears shall fall. I smile now as I watch you stumble, watch you drown. You are sin, and I'm no longer falling for you.