My Strength

2 Comments

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  • Loss

    My Strength

    I have so much pent up right now

    But don’t know how to release it

    Or if I even can release it.

     

    My thoughts and actions have become

    Erratic and foreign to me.

    I guess that might be normal right now.

     

    I lost the man who shaped my world

    And hung the moon.

    The man who chased all the monsters

    Into the ocean so I could sleep soundly.

     

    The man who exposed me

    To really good music,

    The man who always made me smile

    Even if would rather sulk.

     

    The man who prided himself

    On his childish ways

    And iron work ethics.

     

    The man who will always be superhuman

    In my eyes.

    My father.

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    Rhymer commented on My Strength

    05-20-2010

    When the hero of our lives passes their are no words of comfort. 10 for this testimonial.

    simoneaugustus

    05/22/2010

    Very aptly worded, Rymer. Thanks for the comment and the rating!

    jpmaster13 commented on My Strength

    05-20-2010

    I like the poem, simple, seems like a child speaking rather then an adult. Although I'd prefer you used a better word choice rather then "Really good music." The begining three lines I'd switch them around so that now is at the end of the two stanza's. so the pattern is aab ccb kinda :P just my suggestions ^^ take em or leave em

    simoneaugustus

    05/20/2010

    Thanks, jp! It actually was written when I was still a child (very perceptive) and I think I will be making the changes with the first few lines; it does seem to read better that way. I will be leaving the 'really good music' though, as that is how my father referred to it constantly (meaning classic rock). So maybe those words should be in quotations? Thanks for the suggestions!

    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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