PRIDE AND EGO
{By Dori Wheeler 01sep09}

More then twenty years have gone
Obsessed with my weight
I was skin and bones all along

I hated and loved my mirror at the same time
A face so pretty, but fat is what I could see
A warped sense of self was my crime

If I ate once a day, that was too much
Whatever I put in, I would bring right back up
Anorexic and bulemic, I was out of touch

I thought I was so beautiful except for the weight
Primping in the mirror, every chance I got
But, I couldn't get past this false image right from the gate

Five more pounds is what I would say
But, when that was gone there was another five
In the mean time, I was just wasting away

I had very few female friends because I was "it"
I needed an entourage of boys at all times
With no self-esteem, I still thought I was the shit

Those boys fed my ego at every turn
Fishing for compliments is something  I did
Thinking I was so hot, if you touched me you would burn

Years gone by, no longer that girl
Not far from being fifty, a big concern
In front of that mirror, I still twirl

Now that I really am over weight
I still obsess, but I do not purge
I just throw on some make-up and out the gate

I call my make-up kitty litter because it covers the shit
People tell me I look ten years younger
I just wish I had some clothes that fit

Pride and ego have always been in the way
Of seeing my image clearly, it's convoluted
I think this is why I can't find a good man, even to this day!