Peculiar
Whenever this happensthere is no boundary
Just an inner hurt
that isn’t apparent
Why do I sit back
get played like a fool
Why am I so friendly
that I can’t stop or just say no
I wish it was me
on the other end
Getting her,
and stable ground beneath me
Not floating high above
this ruined treacherous earth
Why do I bother
playing these mind games
They are pointless
go without saying
There is no meaning
Endless and ongoing
Farther and further
For absolutely nothing
Why couldn’t I be the one
The one who gets everything
anyone, without trying
Nice guys finish last
that is my motto
Because so far it explains everything
Why fight, why go on
What is there for me
To try so damned hard for?
Rejection, and no appreciation
That is what stares me in the face
Putting me in my place
This place of loneliness
of withdrawal, and darkness
Darkness that comes from deep within
Darkness that cannot be shown
Always must stay hidden
Hidden behind a mask
of love, sweetness, and pain
All of which I seem to use correctly
Accurately so that even the closest people are distant
So distant they view just an exterior
a complete barrier
Of flesh and bone tissue and muscle
They don’t see this turning
yearning, wanting, and needing
While material items,
what good are they
I want something that is
harder to explain
Than the reason for life itself
Someone who loves and wants me
Loves me for who I am
and wants me for everything I can be
I wish I could find
Someone just like this
A person who is
loving but naughty
beautiful yet smart
funny and courteous
The most important part perhaps
Someone who can love me
For me just being me
Love is a great thing
it is something we can’t see
Just feel inside ourselves
For exactly what its worth
Cause it is everything
The essence of life itself
That which keeps us going on
For yet another, Peculiar day
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