Questions

What is wrong with me?

Where is the survivor who's strength and perseverance has been honed over time through tribulations and fire?

Where is the tough as nails, will fight through any battle woman I thought I had become?

Why do I feel like I am back in time as a scared, insecure youth who couldn't speak out for fear of rejection?

I've always cared what other people thought but when did I start letting it rule me again?

I thought I was healing, getting stronger, finding myself, but am I more lost now than I was before?

Am I subconsciously trying to push away those whom I care for and who care about me through some core deep need to not be hurt again?

Am I so scared of failing that I am barricading myself behind invisible walls so no one can get close enough to see and dismiss the real me?

Do I think so little of myself that I truly don't believe in my own self worth or in anybody's ability to love me for who I am?

Will I ever get over my insecurities enough to actually live my life or will my need for approval always dictate my every move?

What is wrong with me?

02-23-20