Worthless
It is a very interesting experience discovering that you are worthless.
It is intriguing to learn that you could stand naked, broken, bleeding, and screaming while you burst into flames in the middle of a crowded room and nobody would notice except for the janitor who had to sweep up the ashes.
Part of me feels relief in the fact that now I know my insecurities are not unfounded, that i didnt imagine all i perceive, that it's not all in my head.
Part of me is crushed like a bone under to much pressure learning that nothing about me matters, not my hopes or dreams or feelings or thoughts.
My body and time are useful.
An incubator, a child care provider, a babysitter, shift runner, house cleaner, piece of ass... I am a tool with many uses so use me up, everyone does.
But my core, my essence, my perspective, my feelings, anything and everything that is who i am and what makes me me... unimportant... worthless...
05052021
05052021
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