Breathtaking

13 Comments

Tags:
  • Lust

    Poem Commentary

    I went to a good friend's house out of town were the ground is bare and hard. I came up with the first couple lines on my way home.

    Breathtaking

    His body is soft
    like velvet window drapes
    hiding us from the outside world.
    A pulse that promises
    a bond that cannot be broken.
    His stomach clenches, flexing
    at the warmth of my fingertips.
    Please remind me
    when forever starts.

    By: Brandi Deacon
    2010

    Poem Comments

    (13)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    dancinghawk commented on Breathtaking

    04-01-2010

    luv this intense bit ... complete in its brevity ... setting the stage, action, reflection ... and as i see in the comments below, yes, agreed, there's a vitality, a celebration of youth ... beautiful write! -dh

    BringMeBullets

    04/01/2010

    Thank you so much! Your comments are my belief that I can be something in this world. :)

    alexander316 commented on Breathtaking

    03-22-2010

    now this one here is hopeful and tender filled with dreams and the desire of a strong young man enthralled by your majestic presence. i like this one filled with youth and life.and again short sweet

    BringMeBullets

    03/22/2010

    Short and sweet is the way to go sometimes. Thank you. I will check out your work right now. :)

    WarriorMonk commented on Breathtaking

    03-22-2010

    This is an amazing and succinct write. You are clearly a wordsmith....

    BringMeBullets

    03/22/2010

    Aww... Thank you. :)

    Jayandben commented on Breathtaking

    03-16-2010

    Wow, Brandi...I love this. THe words you and analogies you use to describe your feelings are amazing. I love the line "Please remind me when forever starts"

    BringMeBullets

    03/16/2010

    Thank you. That line was the main inspiration.

    Dead4Rest commented on Breathtaking

    03-15-2010

    Great poem!! I wish I could be as active as you in my writting, you have so many great poems already, still you manage to always impress me with a new one, great work!! :D

    BringMeBullets

    03/15/2010

    Thank you so much! I am so stuck right now though... I don't know what to write about! Ha ha.

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

    BringMeBullets’s Poems (75)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Flashlight Eyes 6
    A House, A Home 2
    Untilted IV 2
    Quality of Life 2
    Shean 0
    March 1
    Abandoned 15
    Ravens & Razor Blades 25
    Adam and Eve 26
    Dragons Of My Heart 28
    Gentile Dreaming 11
    Your Light 16
    Pretty Mouth 15
    Stars on the Ceiling 19
    My Keeper 15
    Lyrics of Roses 12
    Island 8
    Lamb 7
    Taylor 5
    Unpleasant Departure 11
    Shaken 7
    Just Summer 5
    Handle With Care 7
    Desire 10
    Cloudburst 9
    Wet Dogs 14
    Untitled III 7
    Untitled II 11
    Undone 6
    William 6
    Picture Book 12
    Our Season 8
    Breathtaking 13
    Same Excuses 15
    Define Me 11
    Silhouettes 10
    Give In To The Night 16
    Acid 19
    My Pet 12
    Shaded Memories 9
    Pick Up 16
    As It Was 10
    Destination 12
    Snuff 9
    Tourniquet 14
    Fallen Angel 18
    A Melody, A Memory 4
    Summer's Edge 4
    Untitled I 3
    Coming To Life 2
    Rain's Song 8
    Dreaming 4
    The Wings Are Falling Off 6
    I Wish 5
    Mask 7
    The Cherry Blossom Inn 2
    Restless Haiku 5
    Lines 1
    Rage 6
    The Oceans In Between 5
    Surface 2
    It's As Easy As Breathing 2
    White Forest 4
    Love Like Salt 3
    What I Want Is 3
    The Rabbit Hunter 3
    Fireflies 5
    Living In The Body 4
    The Iceberg Theory 6
    Breaking In Each Other's Arms 3
    Seize the Day 2
    Infection 3
    Gray Into Yellow 3
    Birches 7
    In Fields Of Broken Daisies 9