Breathtaking

13 Comments

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  • Lust

    Poem Commentary

    I went to a good friend's house out of town were the ground is bare and hard. I came up with the first couple lines on my way home.

    Breathtaking

     His body is soft
    like velvet window drapes
    hiding us from the outside world.
    A pulse that promises
    a bond that cannot be broken.
    His stomach clenches, flexing
    at the warmth of my fingertips.
    Please remind me
    when forever starts.

    By: Brandi Deacon
    2010

    Poem Comments

    (13)

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    dancinghawk commented on Breathtaking

    04-01-2010

    luv this intense bit ... complete in its brevity ... setting the stage, action, reflection ... and as i see in the comments below, yes, agreed, there's a vitality, a celebration of youth ... beautiful write! -dh
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    04/01/2010

    Thank you so much! Your comments are my belief that I can be something in this world. :)

    alexander316 commented on Breathtaking

    03-22-2010

    now this one here is hopeful and tender filled with dreams and the desire of a strong young man enthralled by your majestic presence. i like this one filled with youth and life.and again short sweet
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    03/22/2010

    Short and sweet is the way to go sometimes. Thank you. I will check out your work right now. :)

    WarriorMonk commented on Breathtaking

    03-22-2010

    This is an amazing and succinct write. You are clearly a wordsmith....
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    03/22/2010

    Aww... Thank you. :)

    Jayandben commented on Breathtaking

    03-16-2010

    Wow, Brandi...I love this. THe words you and analogies you use to describe your feelings are amazing. I love the line "Please remind me when forever starts"
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    03/16/2010

    Thank you. That line was the main inspiration.

    Dead4Rest commented on Breathtaking

    03-15-2010

    Great poem!! I wish I could be as active as you in my writting, you have so many great poems already, still you manage to always impress me with a new one, great work!! :D
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    03/15/2010

    Thank you so much! I am so stuck right now though... I don't know what to write about! Ha ha.

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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