In Fields Of Broken Daisies

9 Comments

Poem Commentary

This was an assignment for my Creative Writing class.

In Fields Of Broken Daisies

In fields of broken daisies
we held hands
under a shattered sky
and falling stars.
Pollen particles
danced around us
as the wind sang
a haunting lullaby.
Your blue eyes glimmered
as we slowed danced
in their reflection.
I felt your heart beat pulsate
through the delicate air
as I rested my head on your shoulder.
White petals fluttered aimlessly
and rested at our feet.
You'll never understand
how to fix the sky
but I guess that's always been up to me.
A smile spreads across your face
and a thousand white clouds exploded.
Then we danced
in fields of broken daisies
as burning clouds
fell down around us.

By: Brandi Deacon
2009

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SerenityWintirs commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

09-08-2011

I agree with the other comments. "...touch of magic", "...fairytale effect", "surrealist..." yeah, all of that. The words and feeling of the piece seem tinged with definate sadness but the magical imagery that piece conjures seem to soften the darker emotions and allude to an almost hopeful outcome.

ForeverPoet commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

05-12-2010

wow......such eloquent vision. nice write Brandy. well done.

BringMeBullets

05/12/2010

Thank you so much!

Danny31294 commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

05-11-2010

Dang this is awsome I love the images pop up in my mind so clear il be reading and commenting thanks for a nice image to keep in my head for the rest of today :)(:

BringMeBullets

05/12/2010

Aww... Thanks, Danny. :)

SavVySam commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

03-15-2010

A touch of magic sprinkle liberally throughout this piece, lends to it's fairy like effect...beautiful! "burning clouds fell down around us" What an incredible descriptive phrase! Love this!

BringMeBullets

03/15/2010

Aww... Thanks. :) You're sweet.

dahlusion commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

02-02-2010

You are, from the very breath of your soul, a surrealist, and I bow to you....lovely!!

BringMeBullets

02/03/2010

Thank you much. Your comments always mean a lot.

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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