Untitled II

11 Comments

Tags:
  • Death

    Untitled II

    "Messy, messy..."
    She stepped around the blood stains,
    avoiding getting her feet wet.
    Death frowned at her. She replied with a smile.

    By: Brandi Deacon
    2010

    Poem Comments

    (11)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    MindNumbing commented on Untitled II

    03-24-2010

    WOW... this is amazing, Brandi. The imagery is phenomenal and I have to admit, it made my skin crawl a little bit. I LOVED IT!

    BringMeBullets

    03/24/2010

    Ha ha. Thank you so much!

    dahlusion commented on Untitled II

    03-23-2010

    Like a tiny razor-sharp knife, this little gem cuts deeply into the nervous system, creating elements of Gothic horror and indelible imagery stained with the blood from pure poetry. "Death frowned at her. She replied with a smile" — upon reading this, a gasp escaped my mouth.

    BringMeBullets

    03/23/2010

    He he. Thank you so much. :)

    cmlestrade commented on Untitled II

    03-23-2010

    Mmmm. This was very good but at the same time very disturbing. Are we so anesthetized(hope I spelled that right) that such a sight has little impact?

    BringMeBullets

    03/23/2010

    Thank you. This one was different... Ha ha. I could do so much more with it, but I feel pretty satisfied.

    charmlessman2d commented on Untitled II

    03-22-2010

    any poem that begins with MESSY MESSY will always catch my attention. short. sweet. direct to the point. a kick right in the kisser. i pictured death as an old baglady with warts onher face frowning...it was creepy how i imagined it. beautiful and straight to the gut. goodjob.

    BringMeBullets

    03/23/2010

    Ha ha. Thank you. I was picturing a beautiful woman that was stepping around red puddles. Then she sees this dead person on the ground... And I was thinking that maybe she hired someone to kill him. And now she has to clean up the mess. :) Creeepy!

    rollerderby commented on Untitled II

    03-22-2010

    Must be kind of use to the blood and gore as I am and un affected by the death of an innocent or maybe no so innocent person.. Death comes to as all," when " is the only varible.... well done dear.

    BringMeBullets

    03/23/2010

    Thank you so much... :)

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    BringMeBullets’s Poems (75)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Flashlight Eyes 6
    A House, A Home 2
    Untilted IV 2
    Quality of Life 2
    Shean 0
    March 1
    Abandoned 15
    Ravens & Razor Blades 25
    Adam and Eve 26
    Dragons Of My Heart 28
    Gentile Dreaming 11
    Your Light 16
    Pretty Mouth 15
    Stars on the Ceiling 19
    My Keeper 15
    Lyrics of Roses 12
    Island 8
    Lamb 7
    Taylor 5
    Unpleasant Departure 11
    Shaken 7
    Just Summer 5
    Handle With Care 7
    Desire 10
    Cloudburst 9
    Wet Dogs 14
    Untitled III 7
    Untitled II 11
    Undone 6
    William 6
    Picture Book 12
    Our Season 8
    Breathtaking 13
    Same Excuses 15
    Define Me 11
    Silhouettes 10
    Give In To The Night 16
    Acid 19
    My Pet 12
    Shaded Memories 9
    Pick Up 16
    As It Was 10
    Destination 12
    Snuff 9
    Tourniquet 14
    Fallen Angel 18
    A Melody, A Memory 4
    Summer's Edge 4
    Untitled I 3
    Coming To Life 2
    Rain's Song 8
    Dreaming 4
    The Wings Are Falling Off 6
    I Wish 5
    Mask 7
    The Cherry Blossom Inn 2
    Restless Haiku 5
    Lines 1
    Rage 6
    The Oceans In Between 5
    Surface 2
    It's As Easy As Breathing 2
    White Forest 4
    Love Like Salt 3
    What I Want Is 3
    The Rabbit Hunter 3
    Fireflies 5
    Living In The Body 4
    The Iceberg Theory 6
    Breaking In Each Other's Arms 3
    Seize the Day 2
    Infection 3
    Gray Into Yellow 3
    Birches 7
    In Fields Of Broken Daisies 9