Cloudburst

9 Comments

Tags:
  • Rain

    Poem Commentary

    He told me to write about rain... And so I did.

    Cloudburst

    I watch in his eyes,
    a rainstorm
    fall over fields of hay.

    The plants grow heavy in this

    cloudburst.
    The horses pay no attention to this
    sudden change of conditions.
    A luscious smell of dew and grass
    rises above all this.
    And I watch it come to be
    through a cracked mirror.
    A yellow school bus drifts on top
    of ash puddles in the road.
    As the breath of many children fog the windows.
    I press my lips to the surface

    to taste the rain

    that now resides in small droplets.

    Gathering my reflection.

     

    By: Brandi Deacon

    Poem Comments

    (9)

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    JudeDruid commented on Cloudburst

    04-08-2010

    i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaally like this bull! it's awesome! ~Jude

    BringMeBullets

    04/08/2010

    Aww... Thanks Jude. :)

    dahlusion commented on Cloudburst

    03-31-2010

    "A yellow school bus drifts on top of ash puddles in the road. As the breath of many children fog the windows. I press my lips to the surface to taste the rain" — this is nothing short of poetic brilliance. You are a poetic goddess walking amongst your peers. I am in awe.

    BringMeBullets

    04/01/2010

    Aww... Thank you, Dah.

    MindNumbing commented on Cloudburst

    03-29-2010

    I am continually amazed by your wordplay, Brandi. You are the future of this craft.

    BringMeBullets

    03/30/2010

    Aww... Thank you!

    Dano commented on Cloudburst

    03-29-2010

    yet again another very strong piece from you... write on...

    BringMeBullets

    03/30/2010

    Thank you! :)

    Musicmynded1 commented on Cloudburst

    03-29-2010

    WoW Brandi,, another Bad-Ass poem here.... Write/right on!

    BringMeBullets

    03/30/2010

    Ha ha. Thank you!

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

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