Coming To Life


  • Fantasy

    Poem Commentary

    I don't have anything to say.

    Coming To Life

    She's wide awake,
    but won't open her eyes.
    Hands clenched so tight that her
    knuckles look bleached.

    She's patient, but this wait
    was wasted.
    Her mind spills open
    like confetti,
    playing pictures for everyone to see.

    Her hair is deadly,
    like small, translucent blades.
    tricky like shark-skin,
    don't get it in the wrong direction.

    Words gush like preserves from broken Mason jars.
    She tilts her head to get a different angle
    at what's happening.

    Behind bars of affliction,
    white skin meets rust,
    turing the tips of her shaking fingers

    An itching surface,
    static fills the air,
    and she tries to plug her ears.

    Sulking in a corner,
    she cries,
    Until a sudden light bursts through the
    darkenss of her dreams.

    A hand reaches for her's,
    She would never deny this offereing,
    this hope,
    this light.

    She's finally discovered a way out.
    People watch
    as she comes to life.

    By: Brandi Deacon

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    danmartyjake1 commented on Coming To Life


    THis is a unique style this poem is written in and takes the reader with it, not knowing where. Beautiful!



    Thank you so much for your comments.

    dahlusion commented on Coming To Life


    This is a powerful write! "Words gush like broken Mason jars" -- with this line, add "preserves" as in, "Words gush like preserves from broken Mason jars" You are so talented for your youthful years. Lovely!!



    Ahh! You're right! That's perfect. I'm going to do that right now. Thanks, Dan. You are utter brilliance. :)



    That is "Dah", not 'Dan" Smiles!



    He he. Ooops. "Dah." Curse my horrible typing skills...

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

    BringMeBullets’s Poems (75)

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