Unpleasant Departure

11 Comments

Tags:
  • Loss

    Poem Commentary

    A loved one has broken away from me... For this, I must write.

    Unpleasant Departure

     I couldn't keep you forever,
    so I let you go.
    You turned back to look at me once more
    like a child on their first day of school.
    Like a mother, I held my hand to my face
    to wipe the tears
    from your departure.
    You are on your way now,
    to make someone else's dreams
    come true.

    By: Brandi Deacon
    2010

    Poem Comments

    (11)

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    ansari commented on Unpleasant Departure

    06-23-2010

    so emotional, nostalgic yet so mature in all what you portray. great imagery, a 10 from me.
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    09/23/2010

    Thank you... :)

    Artist commented on Unpleasant Departure

    04-14-2010

    Nicely written, concise, precise and painfully true.
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    04/15/2010

    Thank you so much. :)

    Springsize commented on Unpleasant Departure

    04-12-2010

    You have a wonderful edge of unique writing that is blunt though tender, clipped, well-planned, you have a good grasp of the English language, and you translate scenes into pictures that Reader can understand what you have seen and felt..... and always, your poem endings show your awareness and you are wise for young, and mostly, you're kind.... THIS poem's ending is is a movie, an angel in a frame.
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    04/13/2010

    Ahh... Thank you. Such a high compliment.

    SavVySam commented on Unpleasant Departure

    04-12-2010

    Awesome work Brandi, so hard letting go sometimes...
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    04/13/2010

    I agree... Thank you!

    KKFay commented on Unpleasant Departure

    04-09-2010

    just two words for you: it's beautiful. it truly is. i understand what you wrote cuz i've been there. keep it up.
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    04/13/2010

    Thank you so much. :)

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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