Poem Commentary

In Chinese mythology the dragon and phoenix are eternal mates.


locked within the pitch black core
remembering to escape
sunny skies and balmy breeze
the arc of Earths landscape

bright plumage on an azure page
empowered to enthrall
the wickedness of evil men
wrought my fiery fall

long the years I've lingered here
in cold shroud of solitude
my power drained to feed the fray
of demons 'round this tomb

imprisoned in dark stone embrace
resisting bleak despair
my beloved comes for me
screaming rage beyond compare

heart quickened and hope come alive
unlock my disused voice
feel the power long denied
and know it was my choice

my twisted guards sense the loss
of what they'd long usurped
and panicking they scatter towards
their last moment on this earth

for my beloved rises up
to rend with fang and claw
ripping them limb from limb
filling me with awe

surrounded by the bodies
fallen 'round his feet
his fire paints the star filled sky
as destined lovers meet

rising from the ashes
of my tormented past
allow my dampened embers
to burst into flame at last

I stand before eternal love
revealed in my own fire
and spreading flame-tipped golden wings
raise eyes filled with desire

voices entwined in harmony
that echoes throughout the earth
this shattered prison witnesses
the Phoenix in rebirth

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dragynwynd commented on Rising


This was excellent and the imagery was remarkable. Very, very expressive. Imagery was unadulterated and flowed beautifully. Definitely a 10.

AmadeusEx commented on Rising


wonderful, at last a poet who gets it! i love dragons, always have, ive been immersed in fantasy novels since i learned how to read, and this brings back memories of times i have woken dragons, and witnessed the phoenix rise...great poem, a well deserved ten from me

Artie commented on Rising


Our little saga has spawned some interesting pieces.... You are an absolute magician with words... 10 from me...

kmeadows commented on Rising


You did this wonderfully! Its absolutly magnificent and completely captivating . You engulf your reader in a picture that is both facinating and amazing. Great job!

UnworthyFather commented on Rising


WoW!!! I am in awe of this piece!!! This is simply beautiful!!! The imagery is Superb. The flow and meter, excellent...and the story? Exquisite. I felt like I was living a Stephen King novel. Wonderful job, Tender. Def. a 10 for this one.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

tenderpoison’s Poems (116)

Title Comments
Title Comments
You Are...I am 2
la chanson de la petite mort 4
fallen 2
seasons 0
smoke 2
Thursdays Child 2
the edge 0
whispers 2
nothing left to say... 2
sense of season 2
suspension bridge 1
Legendary 1
Almost 3
compromise 1
the final line 1
weather report 6
lessons in loss 2
Walk Away 1
b*itch boots 5
fumbling, tumbling - falling down 6
metamorphosis mine 13
Secret Language 15
An Ode to StudlyVonFiel
the ties that bind 15
spitting in the wind 9
paradigm 8
talking in tongues 10
cloudy skies 12
really 15
well, I guess I know what it's not.... 13
heart of stars 17
The Longest Road 14
Legacy 6
Despair 7
Delusion 7
Inflammatory 8
survival of the fittest 20
ephemeral 13
the fall of the inconsequenti
Modern Love 24
apathy the enemy 9
Oceans 7
Consummation 11
"I don't love you" I said 20
narcissus speaks 13
destination 9
expectations 6
worlds collide 6
afternoon delight 7
my addiction 19
spilt milk 8
bay-area tourist beware 6
reciprocal 7
take the lead 11
losing what's precious 20
figment 5
bacchus unveiled 9
genuine 24
fool's gold 13
silence speaks 9
dark temptation 10
glass beach 9
mother love 12
sweet nothing 9
lighthouse 6
unbound 8
One Moment 5
Michael Jackson is Dead 4
parley 4
unmasked 4
stand 5
sage 9
Rising 8
the last word 6
prelude to bliss 2
unstained 4
insatiable 3
not pretty 8
surrender 4
forsaken 5
kudos 5
fine dining 3
Pieces 4
the tree 16
inches 9
priceless 8
25 years 7
only a dream 9
reborn 5
flicker 5
unruffled 4
taking the air 6
cymbol song 4
strike zone 6
nine days in turlock 9
through the pale 8
redemption song 3
Wise Men Know 8
not so ancient history 7
my forefathers? 2
American Memorial 2
bitter harvest 4
unconquered 52
what's in a name? 5
Flattery 5
me and a tube of crazy glue 6
eternal vows 2
Old Friend 5
directions to destiny 4
Illumination II (a rewrite) 7
Illumination 6
submission - things they don't teach girls 22
Echo 20
Bride 16
Undone 21