something buried deep
i thought to hide
but never from myself
afraid if i remove this mask
my demon will come out to play
I don't care, I will welcome it
red rage
killing rage
righteous rage
I know the taste of hate
and it is sweet
the power to deny everything
but myself
I have the right
I have paid the fucking ferryman
I have sacrificed all that I was
until I am nothing
and now everything
I am what matters to me
and somewhere in this empty
lifeless fucked-up world
is someone who will understand
not empty, not lifeless
a heartbeat
a breath
an idea
a right to live
by my own standard
to my own satisfaction
to smile when I want
not on command
like some cheap whore
bought with no more than empty promises
of love that is never love
this is the measure of your manhood
that you FUCKED ME
you did nothing
but fuck me over
and fuck me up
so yeah...take your fucking kudos
you fucked me good
but you never loved me
because you never knew me
and you never understood
at all

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soulwriter commented on kudos


I understand the depth of this and the power of your words as you offer a one fingered word salute to the offender. You left me a bit speechless with the raw rage - allowing each reader to appreciate depravity of the situation and the devoured sense of being in the creation. If your were my daughter I would be reprimanding you for your language (LOL), however I respect you for your use of language used freely as your will commanded. Keep creating and expressing!

travisd76 commented on kudos


I understand you... as do all of your readers. Well written. It seems you are letting your anger show more vividly with each new write. I don't know what to say, on one hand I love to read your work, but on the other I feel so sorry for your situation and hope everything works out for you. Bit of a potty mouth there! :))

Hampton commented on kudos


This poem exhibits an avalanche of anger that just keeps building until it erupts with a crescendo of profanities. Well written but your friends feel your pain.

Artie commented on kudos


Hmmm..... I'm searching for the right words.... I think I Love You!!! LOL- I think this is a beautiful romantic cry for love. I know when you want him to smile- when you're near. Not because he's told, but because, he wants to. 10 from me..

optimistic commented on kudos


Wow!!!!!!!!!!! Deep Who in a mans situation would beat on a womans mind so talented? You're such a talented artist unrecognizable with words. you caught me thru this poem of pain and vivid imagination with rage and anger. Way out of your character so I know this was not a good time. Screw him love you. Keep writing as you bleed out your pain and slash him with your pen. Excellent write.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

tenderpoison’s Poems (116)

Title Comments
Title Comments
You Are...I am 2
la chanson de la petite mort 4
fallen 2
seasons 0
smoke 2
Thursdays Child 2
the edge 0
whispers 2
nothing left to say... 2
sense of season 2
suspension bridge 1
Legendary 1
Almost 3
compromise 1
the final line 1
weather report 6
lessons in loss 2
Walk Away 1
b*itch boots 5
fumbling, tumbling - falling down 6
metamorphosis mine 13
Secret Language 15
An Ode to StudlyVonFiel
the ties that bind 15
spitting in the wind 9
paradigm 8
talking in tongues 10
cloudy skies 12
really 15
well, I guess I know what it's not.... 13
heart of stars 17
The Longest Road 14
Legacy 6
Despair 7
Delusion 7
Inflammatory 8
survival of the fittest 20
ephemeral 13
the fall of the inconsequenti
Modern Love 24
apathy the enemy 9
Oceans 7
Consummation 11
"I don't love you" I said 20
narcissus speaks 13
destination 9
expectations 6
worlds collide 6
afternoon delight 7
my addiction 19
spilt milk 8
bay-area tourist beware 6
reciprocal 7
take the lead 11
losing what's precious 20
figment 5
bacchus unveiled 9
genuine 24
fool's gold 13
silence speaks 9
dark temptation 10
glass beach 9
mother love 12
sweet nothing 9
lighthouse 6
unbound 8
One Moment 5
Michael Jackson is Dead 4
parley 4
unmasked 4
stand 5
sage 9
Rising 8
the last word 6
prelude to bliss 2
unstained 4
insatiable 3
not pretty 8
surrender 4
forsaken 5
kudos 5
fine dining 3
Pieces 4
the tree 16
inches 9
priceless 8
25 years 7
only a dream 9
reborn 5
flicker 5
unruffled 4
taking the air 6
cymbol song 4
strike zone 6
nine days in turlock 9
through the pale 8
redemption song 3
Wise Men Know 8
not so ancient history 7
my forefathers? 2
American Memorial 2
bitter harvest 4
unconquered 52
what's in a name? 5
Flattery 5
me and a tube of crazy glue 6
eternal vows 2
Old Friend 5
directions to destiny 4
Illumination II (a rewrite) 7
Illumination 6
submission - things they don't teach girls 22
Echo 20
Bride 16
Undone 21