My Death Inside Me

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a particularly dark write from one of my most recent black-out nights

My Death Inside Me


I feverishly crawl through my obsessions

unabated desires and misled confessions

deny even the salvation of release

from this endless valley of night

this cold, dark winter of carnal regression

 

I cannot lose control of me

or allow you the pleasure of being free

nothing but your ravaged body

your world become my slave

will ever adorn my grave

 

I feed on the misery you have left

Inside my heart…inside my breath

We are entwined, even in death

In this desert, below this rain

I am drenched in pain

 
turgid, swollen...black as cast-iron

every mile beneath me paved with stones

thrown by lover's words

and the shatter in my bones

pretend to live again

 

saturated and deserted

a second-hand after-thought

bound by lies of gold-wrought

chaste and un-trod

my loathing dines

 

these meaningless words

are my only confines

distant and lost

all my dreams lay in bottles

that I have drank and tossed

 

shattered everyone

to be with someone now gone

no memories left

just ruin to chew on, alone

like so many fallen thrones

 

I sing into empty tomes

and splatter my passion onto pure white pages

my every move haunts and echoes

in my soul and my essence

your face buried

 

beneath layers of remembrance

made new to me through unwanted visions

screaming for admittance

into the answers

to all my selfish wishes

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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

AmadeusEx’s Poems (89)

Title Comments
Title Comments
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Brothers 3
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Moving Inexorably Further Behind 12
Salvation of the Roses 39
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Fall Into the Stream and Hold Your Breath 6
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My Death Inside Me 0
Dark Passenger 4
No Salvation for the Saved 0
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23 Seconds 14
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Immortality of Youth 2
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I Took Her 9
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Sign 4
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ELEVATOR 5
Dual We You or Me... 1
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Heroes and Cowards 5
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