“An offer that simply cannot be passed up”

          Be sure to get this once in a lifetime offer from the ministries of barney henn. 

YES! YOU TOO CAN ENJOY PRAYING IN BARNEY’S BEDROOM, ACTUALLY TELLING GOD WHAT IT IS YOU WOULD HAVE HIM DO.

HOW WONDERFUL IS THAT?  BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO SLAY YOUR PARENTS IN THE SPIRIT.  Yes!! To actually frighten them back into their bedroom!   How Cool Is That Huh?

          By now it’s a well known fact that Barney converses with God and His HolY Angels practically at whim.  Barney himself explains so that mere mortals such as we may understand.  Seems that occasionally someone very special is born on earth, a being that God simply must pay attention to and sometimes even go to for answers or opinions that God may not be enlightened to as of yet.  Praise Barney.

          Now; for the really good part.  One of you most fortunate people will be blessed and honored to spend one entire day inside of Barney’s body.  You will be with him when he slays in the spirit when he answers god’s         questions for one whole entire day and night.

That’s right my friends;  such dear dear friends you are indeed.  Be with Barney when he goes face to face with satan.  Do not be afraid when Barney sends him to hence from where he came.  You will even be privy to the strategy sessions he has with our most precious lord, yes! Listen in as they plan what actions to take at certain strategic points during the revivals.  You will finally know the answer to one of the biggest questions of all concerning Pastor Barney.  YES!!!  That’s right!  you will soon see and know for yourself if Barney truly fears god or if he is working for satan.  

          THIS IS A ONE TIME OFFER AND A VERY SELECT FEW WILL BE CHOSEN TO SHARE BARNEY’S INMOST SECRETS: DOES HE SING IN THE SHOWER, READ ON THE TOILET,FOLD HIS CLOTHES NEATLY; OR IS HE SATAN’S INSTRUMENT WORKING AT AND SUCCEEDING AT DRIVING  MILLIONS AWaY FROM Christ?   Learn if Barney really believes in god and if he does why does he not fear the Lord?

          All of this can be had for just one lifetime commitment of everything you possess hope to possess for just this one short little lifetime.  Our alternative offer is simple.  We merely want the rights to your soul.  Think of that now, for just one measly soul you get to slay people in the spirit tell god what to do and collect cash daily like there were no tomorrow.  Heck!  Who even says there will be a tomorrow?                            

© Sam Hyde

   01-22-11