"How The Milk River Got Its Name" :: cutbanksam :: Original Poetry

"How The Milk River Got Its Name"

"The Milk River"

(how it got its name)

this is how the Milk River got its name

Some two hundred years ago when the lands

around the Milk River were first settled the river

was known by another name: 'The Clear River'

so named because one could see the bottom even in

its deepest parts.

The land surrounding the river is exceptionally fertile

being ideal for grazing and farming. It wasn't long before

the pioneers began dairy and farming operations along with

some large ranches.

Before too many years the cows were producing an overabundance

of milk and other dairy products. Of course cows must be milked daily for their own well being and it soon became clear that there was no way that the ranches, farms, and communities surrounding

the river could consume all of the milk being produced at the time so the farmers and ranchers began dumping the surplus milk into the river itself.

This experiment wasn't working too well in ridding the people of all of the extra milk so they began the desperate measures of driving the cows to banks of the river and milking them directly into the clarity of the 'Clear River'.

In less than 6 months the river began to appear to be a more filmy white color and in less than 3 months more the whole body of water turned to the milky color it is today and has been that way ever since.

An emergency meeting of all the principles was called in order to discuss this alarming development and several cures were suggested. Being desperate many of these outlandish ideas were attempted. Among such measures they tried flooding it with various cheeses thinking 'Yellow River' or 'The Gouda' would sound a bit better but the milky hue was not to be discouraged. They tried planting various crops of fish but most seemed to be lactose intolerant.

These efforts continued and included planting rice midstream and various other cures including taking the muck from stables and inundating the river with it. They finally gave up after filling the stream with various steak sauces even going so far as to trying to steam the unsuccessful rice crops and adding copious amounts of soy sauce. These are just a few of the many solutions (all without success) tried to get the river to change its color.

Another community meeting was called and after a short debate it was decided to concede failure and eventually someone had the bright idea of re changing the rivers name to 'The Milk River', a name that remains to this day.

A true story!

04-21-13