"The Screwing Of Bishop; or someone closely resembling him"

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I am not trying to brag here, but it sure goes to show how crappy a poem can be when written in a very short time and presented uneditied and fresh off the john

"The Screwing Of Bishop; or someone closely resembling him"

“Take me to Bishop” , the dead man said

putting his beer down and scratching his head

a scalp with no luster, nor nary a hair

he didn’t know anyone that happened to be there

 

how to take the dead man to visit himself

was taking some time to return him to health

hopefully his mind was still there

if anyone cared they sure weren’t there to care

the night Mr. Bishop brought himself down

 

into his drink young Suzie poured

more than a little of the stuff she had shared

with me just this morning, though not like

the one for Bishop, for he nearly roared

in his delirium he thought he’d been dead

we soon convinced him it was all in his head

 

I almost felt bad while watching him boast

of all the ass kicking he’d done more than most

so when Suzie told Bishop to put up or leave

he merely looked her way in sheer disbelief

“If you was a man I’d take you apart

I guess you are lucky you cute little tart

 

Suzie got angry and dared him to fight

but hitting a woman just didn’t seem right

I surely thought I surely knew that he would

get see what is true

jaw snapping and crappin he boasted of men

he’d once taken on before he got sick

 

I put up my money and even upping the bet

that whoever lost I would be sure to possess

Bishop took umbrage and said I was next

as soon as he shut up this lady like pest

I bet on my Suzie for Bishop had no clue

of the cost of his life we had to go through

 

he went to the men’s room as a prelude to fight

we next heard a scream of fright so chill

we knew that old Bishop had just looked in the mirror and saw what he was

there was only one body available for him

a beautiful woman desirable and trim

 

I went to claim my prize after the surprise

he threatened to kill me and scratch my eyes

no one ever liked Bishop and hoped he’d get screwed over royal for being so rude

so Bishop got over the shock of that night

and now does his fighting below a red light.

 

© Sam Hyde

    03-12-11

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

cutbanksam’s Poems (337)

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