"Such Painful Beauty"

this morning very early

I had a conversation with God

it started as a prayer but I decided

to lay my soul bare and simply

expose my darkest sins

my regrets and my pain

at reliving such terrible things

knowing I am the guilty one

wanting to let go of the weight

it was such painful beauty

that I am now forgiven

I did my painful duty

and gave the weight to Him

I told him of so many things:

of how I felt about my sins

of how I felt about the harm I've done

of how I feel about myself

of how I'll always love Him

I really gave it to myself

I talked to Him of my shortcomings

of my faults, my disease of sin

I told Him of my sorrow

I told Him of my pain

I talked to Him about my life

about the marriage I almost destroyed

about His grace to let me save it

I asked Him for His strength to

help me pull it off

I was so painfully honest

it really hurt me so

to take a real good look

at the way I have hurt others

of the jerk I have been for years

yet our Lord took me at my word

and cleansed me in and out

I got this peaceful feeling

indefinably vague and warm

I knew that I was heard

now I must learn

to be always honest with myself

before God!

© Sam Hyde

    04-20-11