Stuck in yesterday's today
I'm losing touch with realityAll the years spent in solitude
Never letting another close
The last blood I have denied me
All to long ago, but still I wish
For a change of pace, another day
To start a better life, this living
Is wearing me down, can't stand just existing,
Wish I could spread my wings and fly
But every step I take from this cursed place
Is heavy with weariness and the chains
I have tried to ignore pull me back,
Back to the tombstones that line my life,
I used to crave the knowledge that I was alive,
There was a time when only blood flowing
Over deadening hands could tell me,
But then I saw that pain could not
Give me the answers I needed any more
So I retook the hobby I once forsook,
To put my pain into words
That flow from my mind endlessly,
And realised that as long as I felt anything at all
I was technically by all logic, living,
Which just leaves me back at square one,
The lines are blurred, right and wrong,
Just words another uses, no application
To the life I 'live', just a little girl
Remembering she was supposed to have grown up
Long ago, that each black rose thrown onto
Hastily packed earth, should have added a year,
Stead I just stayed still watching time fly by,
Refusing to grow up, yet still I thrived,
At least that's the way the world saw it,
Caretakers said i took world on, a personal challenge
To defeat every obstacle, help others along the way,
Strange how me these events just affirmed
My belief is standing still, cos if I could
Help everybody else but me, then I would never
Have to face up to my actions,
So now, it's just me, everybody else is gone or dead
Me, alone in my revolving world,
A collapsing reality of swirling colours
Emotions gone haywire, feeling that isn't
And words pissing around my mind
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